The Deepest Shade of Blue
by Predominantly Normal
Summary: [MISSING: Young boy, 4'3", Brown Hair, Starry-Eyed.] Rescuing Steven after he went missing was Pearl's main target. Falling in love with a former enemy along the way was just the unavoidable collateral damage. MULTICHAP/PEARLAPIS/AU (COMPLETE)
1. Underwater

**I DO NOT OWN STEVEN UNIVERSE **

**I'm really bad with all aspects of chapter stories, including completing them, so just bear with me here and don't get too attached.**

**Story takes place a little over a year after Full Disclosure. **

* * *

"This is a bad idea," Pearl tells Steven as they float down to the bottom of the ocean. They're protected within a bubble manifested by Steven's gem, but Pearl worries that not even Steven can defend himself against the most terrifying fusion she had ever encountered.

"Trust me, Pearl. Look, I know you're worried-," Pearl suppresses a humorless laugh; what an understatement. "But I know what I'm doing. I've got a pretty good grip on my powers now... We'll be fine. We just gotta free Lapis and get out," Steven mumbles as they sink to the bottom of the ocean. Pearl gets the aching feeling that Steven's trying to convince himself more than her.

Thousands of feet below sea level, in the eternal darkness of the ocean, continuing to sink further and further with every passing moment. Pearl bites her lip and twines her long fingers, trying to relax and close her eyes. Garnet had offered to be Steven's escort, but Pearl instantly vetoed the notion. Garnet, although she was undoubtedly the strongest of the Crystal Gems, was impulsive and a poor diplomat- and disaster waiting to occur. Pearl is starting to regret her decision. What if Malachite isn't cooperative? What if they have to fight? The Crystal Gems hardly fared well against Lapis alone, not to mention when another incredibly powerful gem was fused with her. Pearl decides to get these thoughts out of her mind.

"Steven, it's rather dark..." she says to break the silence.

"Oh! Thanks for reminding me!" Steven sifts through his pockets and fishes out a translucent rod about a foot long. He bends it, and it pops, instantly glowing a bright green. "Connie got me this for us to see!"

"You're kidding," Pearl mumbles. Yet she's surprised- the glow stick is illuminating the ocean around them fairly decently.

Steven blinks and presses his face to the rose-hued wall of the bubble, trying to look out. He scrunches his thick brow, "I should've asked her to drop a whole bunch in the ocean so they sink and light up the floor. That way, it'd be a ton easier to find Malachite..."

"I don't see why you want to seek out that... _Fusion_ so badly," Pearl grumbles. She'd already slipped a few times calling Malachite a monster, and Steven had refused to talk to her until she apologized and corrected herself.

"Lapis is my friend. She doesn't deserve to be all alone with Jasper like that," Steve n mumbles, knitting his eyebrows and playing with his thumbs. Pearl finds it odd that he describes Lapis' company with Jasper as being 'alone', but shrugs it off. "I miss her," he adds solemnly.

Pearl doesn't understand Steven's empathy. She's never met anybody, gem or human, more genuine and forgiving than Steven. He's like his mother, in every good way imaginable. Which is why Pearl is so apprehensive about risking him for Lapis, of all gems. He's worth more than her.

"Look, Pearl!"

Pearl squints through the haze, and makes out a lumpy striped creature about the same size of Steven. It resembles him a lot, actually. It scuttles to the bubble, which has made a soft landing at the ocean floor, and pushes its mushy face to the pink transparent surface.

"Look, It's one of my Watermelon Stevens! Hey little guy!" Steven laughs, and it's refreshing to hear his laugh. "Aw, he's kinda rotted. I guess he's more of an_ underwater_melon Steven now." Steven quirks his brow, and Pearl sends him a blank stare.

"Connie would get that joke," Steven huffs.

The Watermelon Steven shakes its soft body as if motioning for them to follow. The two gems share a shrug, and then reluctantly push the bubble forward to tail it. Steven hums and bites his lip as he pushes. "Don't worry, Lapis. We're coming for you."

Pearl says nothing. Only keeps her eyes locked forward and on the Watermelon Steven guiding them. If gems perspired, she'd be cold sweating like an Icy Hot patch by now. Instead, she's left just trying to breathe soundly through her nose and sheild Steven from how downsright terrified she really is.

Steven is rambling as they walk. Daydreaming aloud. He'd been doing that more often lately, especially when he went on more dangerous missions. "We'll free Lapis. And then I can show her around Beach City. She'll meet all the nice people here and realize that the Earth isn't all that bad. I know she will." He rolls his shoulders and squeezes his sweaty palms. "I know it."

The Watermelon Steven seizes suddenly, then shudders. Steven stops pushing to gaze at it. "What's up, little guy?"

The Watermelon Steven lifts his stubby arm in response, pointing stiffly to a heavy mass in front of them. Pearl holds her breath as her eyes inch up the scaly seaweed green monster in front of her. It's smaller than she remembered, and yet still collassal, towering over their small bubble and still lying down. It's legs are folded under it like a Spinx, and the watery chains bind it to the sea floor. Pearl readies her weapon, hands shaking as she summons it. Her eyes are trained on the beast. She wants to attack it, and is anxious like a predator hunting its prey. Her jaw is taut, pulled closed like it's bound by braces. Her legs are pulled like springs, ready to release. The air inside Steven's bubble feels shallow and humid.

Steven turns around and his eyes instantly lock on her spear. "Pearl, put your weapon away. Please." He begs softly, near silently so that he doesn't startle the caged beast only yards away.

Pearl stares blankly at Steven for a moment, before finally retracting her spear, although her hand still hovers just below her gem in case Steven overestimated Malachite's benevolence.

"You can do this, Steven," he hisses under his breath in an almost chastising manner. His entire body is tense, and he focuses on Malachite like she's a prize to be won.

"Malachite!" He roars, his surprisingly powerful voice bouncing around the bubble and elicting a flinch from Pearl. "It's me, Steven!"

The fusion twists around, all four eyes wide open in shock. Two voices, one vengeful, one shocked, reply:

"Steven?! What are you doing here?"

Malachite hisses and morphs slightly before stabalizing once more. "Steven!" Lapis' voice rings out, blurred by the ocean around them. "You need to leave! Now!"

"No! I'm not leaving you alone again." Steven snaps, his tone firm.

"Jasper will-," Lapis is cut off.

"Jasper scares me, too," Steven admits. "But I just can't bear to see you like this anymore. We're beach summer fun buddies. Aren't we?"

Malachite morphs again, this time more violently. Jasper is warring against her prison. The water around them vibrates with anticipation. Pearl catches Malachite twitching in excitement. Excitement to be freed and to be spendthrift with power as it pleases her.

"No! I-I just used you to free myself! I never, _ever,_ cared about you!" Lapis screams desperately, as she struggles to keep her form. It quivers. Steven freezes. "Now just leave us _alone_!"

"Come on, Steven," Pearl whispers, placing her hand on his shoulder to comfort him. "You heard it." Steven cringes.

"She's gotta be lying," he reassures.

Malachite hisses again, and Pearl can see the chains ripple with exertion. She wonders how tiring it is to keep up with Jasper's fits of struggling. She can hear Lapis' garbled wails as the Ocean gem forces the more brute side of her into dormancy.

"Steven, now!" Pearl orders. Malachite looks like she'll burst any second, and Pearl wants to keep the collateral damage to a minimum. Malachite sends waves of water at them as she thrashes.

"No!" Steven yells, shoving the bubble and forcing it through the now tumultuous waters.

Pearl wants to stop him, but she decides to let him go. She has to believe in him, no matter how much she wants to pluck him up and carry him away to safety. Garnet's voice rings in her head, "This is his battle, Pearl. Let him fight it." She agrees and relents. At least for now.

"Malachite!" He rolls his bubble right before the beast, so that he can stare her in the eyes. The water boils.

"Steven, get out of here! Y-you're making me lose concentration!" Lapis snarls. Pearl can tell she's struggling when Jasper's voice begins to fade into hers again.

"Lapis Lazuli! I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to protect me. But you don't need to suffer for me anymore! You never did. You don't have to be a prisoner anymore!" he shouts, his voice strong and almost regal. Pearl is startled. She's never heard him talk like this before. Whatever passion Lapis has created in him has made him foolhardy. Pearl doesn't like it.

"You don't know what you're taking about, kid! I hate you! I used you! Escape with your pathetic mortal life while you can." Pearl releases a whimper subconsciously. Jasper is freeing herself.

"Steven, please!"

Lapis and Jasper are roaring at each other now, battling for dominance. Pearl can tell by the crack of Lapis' tone that she's been worn down gradually over the year. Steven is just the tip of the iceberg. She's a prisoner with her own key, and she's so close to unlocking the bars. Pearl can feel the pure energy sending waves through the water. It's that feeling of static electricity popping and connecting every part of your being, making you hyper-aware. And to Pearl, the glo stick is overwhelming, and the air is suffocating, and the unintelligible roars from the beast rips through her heart.

With a ragged breath, Pearl rips out her weapon and prepares to take Steven to safety. "Steven, let's go." And this time when he protests, she ignores him. She picks him up with ease and slams her body to the other side of the bubble, throwing them both away from the impending explosion that is Malachite.

"Pearl, what are you doing?!" Steven yelps. "Please stop!" He whirls around in her grip to look behind them. "Lapis!"

As the riptide hits, Pearl swears she hears one last conjoined scream: "Steven!"


	2. Scabbard

**This story is Alternate Universe. It's only based on cannon up until Full Disclosure. **

**Thank you for reading!**

* * *

The water around them suddenly retreats, as if they are the repellant side of a magnet being forced into a pile of iron fillings. It forms a basin around them that reminds Steven of the Sea Spire. Finding it safe enough, Steven deactivates his bubble. He huffs and stumbles a bit as he steps out of it- he's never quite held it that long under such rough conditions, and it shows. He regulates his breathing almost instantly though, refusing to let Pearl see him stagger. Pearl notices anyways, and shoves in front of him, spear planted into the damp sand beneath her like a soldier in the Royal Guard.

Lapis is holding the water back despite her obvious tiredness and glares at Jasper, who stands across from her. The striped gem releases a monstrous laugh that jars Pearl from her stance. How long had Jasper been planning this? How long had she been relentlessly weathering Lapis down for the very moment she could be overpowered? Pearl can see by the way Lapis struggles to stand without wavering that she's over exerted and exhausted. Just keeping Malachite together probably would've destroyed her physical form eventually- Pearl concludes that the added emotional turmoil from Steven was only what tipped the iceberg.

Lapis limps over to the Crystal gems, defying Jasper. She nearly falls, but catches herself just in time. Steven lurches forwards and grabs her, letting her use him as a crutch. Pearl grimaces. Lapis is in no condition to fight, let alone hold the basin for much longer. Even now, the tall gem can see the barricade of water around them quiver with effort.

"Are you okay?" Steven asks Lapis reluctantly, grazing a rough scratch on her arm with his hand. Lapis winces, and the waters tremble.

"Fine," she forces with a weak grin. "Thank you."

"No prob, B- I mean Lapis," Steven grins. Pearl tries to shield them both from Jasper, but the orange gem is hardly impressed.

"Looks like the little bird is free," Jasper sneers, stepping forward. Her boots sink into the wet sand and make a sloshing noise with every step.

"Jasper, stop it!" Lapis chokes out, weakly trying to push Steven behind her. Steven refuses to budge, instead moving himself so that his mass stands between her and Jasper. Pearl almost laughs. They look like the crumbling blockade of an old war front that only gets worse as you go into the heart of the battlefield.

"Oh, no, Lapis. I understand now. I understand how it feels to be a prisoner," Jasper sneers. Lapis' throat lets out a low rumble, and she digs her blunt nails into Steven's shoulder. Jasper takes a huge step forward. "But unlike you, my imprisonment did not break me. If anything, I'm stronger than ever!" Jasper smashes her fist into the waterfall side of the basin. The sea salt sprays in Pearl's face.

Pearl knows that Jasper can overpower them. It's her alone, and between the other two gems behind her, one is inexperienced, and one is exhausted. Lapis can't hold the basin long enough for Garnet to realize what trouble they're in. Pearl knows this. She has to think. She's always been the smartest, hasn't she? Or at least, she had seen herself as the smartest. Pearl brushes off the wave of insecurity to adjust her grip on her weapon. The pearlecent spear fits in her slender hands as it always had, and grants her some confidence.

Seeing the Crystal gem like this, prepared for battle and unwavering, sends a jolt of recollection to Jasper. She remembers Pearl. "You," Jasper snaps, "I did not recognize you before. You fought under Rose's arm, didn't you? You were her servant."

Pearl grips her spear. Steven knits his brows.

"You were my mother's servant? I thought you said you guys were teammates," he asks innocently.

Jasper smirks. "Oh, no, I definitely know who you are now. You were Rose's handmaiden, weren't you? I believe I saw you at the battlefront, licking her scabbard clean," Jasper taunts, locking eyes with Pearl and drawing her lip.

Pearl feels fury rush through her body like adrenaline through a roller coaster, and she clenches her fists. Bide time, she reminds herself. She's trying to get you to be reckless. Don't fall into her trap.

Jasper glares. The lack of response from the Crystal gem bores her. She knits her brows and takes another two steps in their direction, relishing the feeling of power when they respond by taking three steps back. Lapis' shoulder blades graze the water.

"There's nowhere for us to run," she mumbles in defeat.

"Lapis, just let the water go," Steven orders quietly, grabbing her hand. "I'll be fine, I swear."

Steven's lying, and Pearl can hear the giveaway crack in his voice. He knows he's got stint enough strength left in him to bubble himself for such an extended period of time once again.

"Lapis, don't," Pearl demands, hoping the Ocean gem can see that he's in no shape to protect himself.

"Don't tell me what I can't do," Lapis grumbles, despite complying and keeping the walls of the basin steady.

"Well?" Jasper asks, knuckles popping as she stretches them. "Are we going to fight, or do I get to destroy Rose without resistance?"

How courteous.

"We'll engage in battle," Pearl announces, ripping the point of her swiveled spear from the Earth and aiming it forwards.

She charges up a ball of light as Jasper looks on in amusement. Pearl fires the energy pulse at Jasper, smirking as it hits the orange gem head on. The walls shake, and the dust clears, revealing an unscathed Jasper smiling down with a wolfish grin.

"Cute," Jasper hums before preparing her battering ram. "But I'm through with this shameful display."

Jasper lurches forward, spiraling into a ball and homing in on the Crystal gems. Pearl intercepts the blow with her spear, although she's still pushed back from force alone. Jasper extends from her ball and drives her fist forward. Pearl dodges gracefully, like a practiced ballerina does morning routines. Every missed blow infuriates Jasper more, until she snaps, releasing an animal-like yowl and catches Pearl by the throat. The Crystal gem coughs and her hands drop the spear, flying to the muscular arm constricting her. Gems don't need air, but they do need their necks to stay in one piece. At least Pearl thinks they do.

"Pearl!" Steven throws himself forwards, but he's stopped by Lapis. She wraps her feeble arms around his neck and plants her feet in the ground to hold him back.

"Don't," she hisses. "It's not worth your safety."

Pearl's eyes widen, despite knowing that Lapis takes no sides between Crystal and Home world gems. Lapis' allegiance is Steven, and Steven alone. Pearl silently begs for Steven to break free of Lapis' hold. To help her. But he doesn't, and she feels a joint pop out of place at an agonizingly slow rate. Pearl gasps, and her toes curl. She can't afford to retreat into her gem. There has to be a way out of this.

Twisting her body like a snake, Pearl manages to allot herself some wiggle room. She rears back and then swings forward, sinking her blunt teeth deep into Jasper's arm like some sort of animal. What a horrendous way to escape a captor. But it works. Jasper yells in shock and releases the crystal gem. Pearl rolls back and staggers over to the other two, summoning yet another spear from her gem. Steven sighs in relief, although he knows that it's short lived.

"Pearl!" Steven whimpers. "We've gotta get out of here!"

"You think?!"

Pearl races towards Jasper before sliding in her knees between the striped gem's legs. Pearl extends her legs and twirls into a fighting stance, ripping her spear back off the ground. She leaps forward, thrusting the weapon in front of her. Jasper snickers and sidesteps easily before hurtling her battering ram down upon the small of Pearl's back. The Crystal gem crashes to the ground, breath hitching. Jasper throws her foot into Pearl's head, dangerously close to her smooth gem, and Pearl throws her hands up to protect herself from future blows.

Pearl knows that Jasper's brute force can overpower her skill any day. She hates to admit it, but she's completely outmatched. Pearl struggles to her feet and falls forward immediately after. She desperately swings her spear out and plants it in the dirt to balance herself.

"Pathetic," Jasper snarls. She swings her ram into Pearl, smashing it on the side of her shoulder and sending the gem flying into the barricade of water. Lapis cringes and pulls Steven closer to her. Pearl forces herself from the wall of water, falling on her arms as she crashes down.

"Don't touch him!" Lapis roars despite her weakness. "He's not what you want!"

"You're half right. _He's_ not what I want. But I do want what he _has_." Jasper struts forward. Lapis' back hits the ocean wall and she quivers. Pearl can't stand up. She's screaming at her body to rise, but fails at mustering up the strength to do so. Jasper is getting closer. Steven whimpers in fear. Lapis' eyes dilate. Pearl stops breathing.

And then Jasper lunges.

"No!" Lapis shouts, and the barriers come crumbling down like the Bastille fortress. Blocks of water smash into Pearl as the Crystal gem tries to desperately shield herself.

Steven has created a weak bubble around himself, and it flickers momentarily. Pearl, now submerged, gets to her feet. It's right then that she hears a crash through the ocean. Pearl's eyes shoot up, and she feels a rush of hope. Garnet and Amethyst come sinking down at incredible speeds. Jasper senses them and grits her teeth.

"I don't have time for this," she snarls before slamming her battering ram into Steven's bubble. It shatters like breakaway glass, and Lapis can only clear the water around Steven's head so that the boy can breathe.

Garnet yells in surprise and readies her gauntlets. "Don't touch him!"

Jasper laughs as she snags Steven by the throat and sets her foot on Lapis' chest. She pulls and the Ocean gem's fingers slip. Steven yells in protest and tries to protect himself to no avail.

"Let's see just how hard it is to break a Rose Quartz!" Jasper howls before rearing her head and slamming the ram into Steven's forehead. Tidal waves of water push the gems back at the force. Three yells from the Crystal gems echo in nails-on-chalkboard harmony:

"STEVEN!"

Jasper chuckles and holds Steven's gem in her palm. "Shamefully fragile. Just as I expected."

Garnet begins to hurtle forwards, but Amethyst stops her, throwing her whip around Garnet's body and yanking. Garnet struggles and sends Amethyst a livid glare.

"The runt is smart," Jasper hums. "Make one move and I have no business making dust of your great leader." She motions to crush Steven's gem, but pauses to send the Crystal gems a cocky glare.

"What do you want with us?!" Amethyst barks.

Jasper smirks and stares at the hardly visible Beach City shoreline. "A ten second head start. Oh, and be wary of that little blue gem. She's a tricky one." Jasper cuts off with a laugh.

Pearl refuses to be terrorized. She tries to advance, but Garnet, now free of Amethyst's whip, stops her. "No," Garnet mumbles.

"Garnet, let me go_ right now_," Pearl demands, staring anxiously at Jasper as she begins to take off.

One...

"You're not fit to chase after her. She has Steven. We can't risk harming him," Garnet tries to reason, even though she looks torn herself. Jasper is already yards away from them and picking up speed as she goes, causing a heavy foam wake behind her.

Two...

"We can't risk losing him!" Pearl roars, jerking out of Garnet's grasp with the last of her strength.

Three...

"P, stop it!"

Four...

"Don't you dare tell me what to do! You're not above me!"

Five...

"Oh, right. Because Pearl knows _all_, doesn't she? Pearl is omnipotent and all powerful-,"

Six...

"Amethyst, silence!"

Seven...

"You shut up! I knew this was a stupid idea! But nobody ever listens to _me!"_

Eight...

"Nobody listens to you because you're reckless and you're trouble!" Pearl snarls against her bonds.

Amethyst, with vitriolic fire in her eyes sneers, "Wanna say that to my face?!"

Nine...

"Crystal gems, stop this!" Garnet snaps. Though her voice does not ascend her usual vocal range, the two bickering teammates cast her a glance. "Look."

Ten.

Jasper is gone. Pearl goes limp in Garnet's hold.

"Steven..."

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**Kudos to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed! You guys are the best!**


	3. Awake

**Ichor, for the porpuse of this fic, will refer to any nonhuman blood. **

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Pearl has to be carried home. She had tried to trek from the ocean using her spear as a walking stick, but after being thrown down by a particularly heavy wave, Garnet decided that she wouldn't tolerate Pearl's lagging anymore. So Pearl is propped fireman style over one of Garnet's shoulders, and Lapis occupies the other. The Ocean gem looks horrid- scractched and bruised violently. There's a deep cut along her chin that stretches over her lip and almost touches her left eye. Silver ichor flows out of the wounds and into the murky ocean.

The more she looks, the more Pearl can see the damage caused by Malachite. It must've taken an awesome force to keep that beast down for so long. Lapis had fallen unconscious as soon as Jasper took off, and Pearl insisted that the Crystal gems take her in. She couldn't just rot here at the bottom of the ocean. Steven wouldn't be in vain. Pearl would make sure of it.

Lapis almost looks peaceful as she lay limp over Garnet's broad shoulder. Her expression is slack, and her jaw hangs open the slightest bit. Her hands deftly grab at Garnet's back, and Pearl suddenly sees Lapis as she is. Young.

Pearl theorizes that although Lapis had existed for over 5,000 years in the mirror, she hadn't actually had to grow before her inprisonmemt. She was hardly an experienced gem- and yet she was passionate and powerful beyond her age. Pearl frowns. Lapis might've been even stronger had she not been imprisoned. Even though they are immortal beings, it hurts Pearl to imagine how tough it would be to miss out on so many years of life.

They emerge from the ocean and wince as the sweltering sunlight beats down on them so suddenly.

"I can walk from here," Pearl informs Garnet. She is still not put down.

Once they step in the beach house, Garnet sets her down on the plush pullout couch, easing Lapis' unconscious form besides her. Lapis groans and shifts, subconsciously cradling her wrists. Pearl can see deep cuts around them, probably from Malachite's relentless fighting against her chains. Similar insicions mark her ankles and collarbones. Pearl's glare softens. Poor girl.

"You're to stay here," Garnet orders. "You're in dangerous condition. I can't have you getting hurt." The stoic gem's voice quakes slightly, and Pearl understands. Garnet already lost Steven. She can't lose Pearl, too.

"Okay," Pearl relents bitterly, propping herself up and wincing as she bends on a wound. "Where are you going?"

"Jasper is going to escape to the Homeworld Warp Pads. I'm going to break them before she gets there," Garnet explains, setting Amethyst in charge of the house until she returns.

Amethyst doesn't say anything for a while. And then she speaks up. "I'll make tea."

Pearl taps her fingers against her cheek. Amethyst hates tea.

The purple gem cascades down the stairwell, leaving Pearl alone. Suddenly, Lapis' breath quickens. Pearl glances down to see the young gem twitching in her sleep. She whimpers softly and her fingers blindy grasp at the sheets beneath her. "J-Jasper... St..op..."

Before she knows what she's doing, maternal instincts kick in, and Pearl is running her finger through Lapis' hair. The Ocean gem relaxes slightly, scrunching her brows. The synchopated rhytm and the smooth, damp texture of Lapis' hair mitigates Pearl's anxiety. Still, she worries about Steven. She worries about his regeneration above all else. He's never been reduced to his gem before. She doesn't know if he'll regenerate regularly, especially since he's half human. Pearl can only hope that he'll be okay. He has to be okay. He's Steven Quartz Universe for a reason.

Pearl tells herself this over and over until she is knocked from her Mantra by Amethyst.

"Uh, I got your tea. It's that gross dragon fruit stuff you really like," Amethyst rests the tea tray on Pearl's legs nervously. She sends a confused glance at Pearl's hand that is stroking Lapis' hair.

"She havin' bad dreams?" Amethyst wonders idly.

"Yep. I used to do this with you all the time when you were scared, too. And with...," her face falls. "With Steven." Pearl pours herself some tea and stirs it with the bendy straw Amethyst supplied her with. It's horribly uncultured, but Pearl puts up with it, if only because she's touched by Amethyst's thoughtfulness.

There's only the sound of the beach waves crashing upon the shore, now free to do as they please without Lapis' possession.

"P," Amethyst breaks the silence. "I'm sorry. For, uh, what I said back there."

Pearl doesn't reply.

"Well?"

Pearl busies her lips with another sip of tea and closes her eyes, trying to get lost in the sensations of running her fingers through Lapis' hair.

"Gee, _thank you_, Amethyst! I appreciate your apology!" Amethyst mocks, sarchine like the core of a rotted candy apple. "I'm also so sorry for lashing out! Isn't it great that I can let go of my stupid pride?"

Pearl still says nothing. She has nothing to say- Amethyst has already stolen the words from her lips. She fidgets.

"Whatever, dude. I don't have to deal with this. I'm leaving."

"Just where are you going?" Pearl winces- her tone is naturally condescending and harsh. She tries to correct herself, but stammers instead. "I-I mean, where...?"

"Oh, so _now_ you care? Ugh, this is what I can't stand about you, P. Of all the things to say, you nag me for helping." Amethyst looks as if she's about to go off on a tangent, but stops herself. "You know what? Forget it. That's your deal, not mine. I'm going out to Beach City to ask around for Steven, if you really need to know so badly." Amethyst leaves without a goodbye and storms out the door. As soon as she's gone, Pearl finally whispers: "I'm sorry."

She can never really end things right with Amethyst. They're always tethering to a frayed gym class rope, so close to smacking the bell at the top, and so close to losing their grip and crashing back down to the soft mat beneath. They're just so trapped. If heaven was forgiveness and hell was silence, they're somewhere stuck in purgatory.

"Ugh," Pearl groans, gently removing her hands from Lapis to rub her temples. She feels so useless right now. Pearl wishes she were healthy enough to help in some way. But no- she's confined to a bed. Not even a bed. She's confined to a pullout couch.

Bored and desperate to distract herself from Amethyst, Pearl tucks her fingers underneath her sash and gently tugs it off. The piece of cloth is scratched up, so badly so that in the back, only a handful of threads keep it together. The ribbon is stained with ichor, and it sends a shiver down Pearl's spine. She can't even remember feeling any pain at the instant when she was struck down, and even now it's just a dull ache. But it's still disarming enough to keep her from moving much.

Pearl feels down her back, hand ghosting skin in an attempt to examine her wound. She finds it- a blunt crater on the small of her back that is wet to the touch with the blood of gems. Her blood, specifically. There are smaller cuts and bruises, but her feeling is muted in all of them. Pearl sighs and phases on a new sash, hoping that maybe if she at least looks presentable, then Garnet will let her leave the couch.

Lapis shifts and drags Pearl from her thoughts. The Ocean gem settles her forehead against Pearl's hip and almost, daresay, nuzzles into the taller gem. Lapis smiles gently in her rest, and instead of the disgust she would've had not even a year ago, Pearl offers her a tired smile in return. Steven has changed her for the better. She knows he will be back soon, to help her change even more. Maybe then- just maybe- she can learn to love a gem like Lapis Lazuli.

Night falls slowly- much slower than Pearl would like it to. She feels like six hours have equated to six years. She's hardly touched her tea, and Amethyst has yet to return. It looks rather unsatisfying now anyways. The water is cold, and the leaves sit at the top of the brownish liquid like brine. Amethyst will understand why she's not too interested in it. Pearl groans. Even now, she's still worrying more about what Amethyst will think of her rather than if Amethyst is okay.

It never used to be like this. Pearl knows something's changed between them, and she's too prideful to acknowledge that _she's_ the something that's changed.

Pearl groans and draws her attention back to Lapis. The Ocean gem is sprawled over her, arm slung over her hips and Pearl has leaned back to allow the younger of them to use her stomach as a pillow. Pearl really wants to hate Lapis, both for inadvertently getting Steven kidnapped and for her lack of alliegance in general, but she just can't. She can't hate Lapis when she sees the deep scars on the younger's wrists and ankles. She can't hate Lapis when the younger is so exhausted and overexerted that she's passed out, despite gems not even needing sleep. She feels nothing but guilt when she looks at the gem. She knows Lapis won't be so quick to accept apologies at this point. If she were imprisoned for 5,000 years and then left to rot in another prison right after she escaped, she probably wouldn't be welcoming her captor with open arms either.

Pearl stares out the side window towards the beach. It's hard for her to believe that it's only been a single day. It feels like the world has rotated slowly enough for an hour to stretch into a year, and a day, an eternity.

She has to figure out how to get out of here. She knows Garnet probably will refuse her any freedom to move until she's fully regenerated, and Amethyst hardly wants to deal with her. Unless she can help, she'll just be an extra one hundred pounds for them to worry about. She has to get Steven back. No matter how much she has to hurt the others while doing it.

Pearl unintentionally tugs on Lapis' hair. The Ocean gem twitches. Pearl retracts her hand like she has touched fire on a hot stove.

Roused from her sleep, Lapis groans and squirms. She uses her arms to pull herself up and squints, unsure of what's happening. As soon as she makes out the shape of Pearl, her eyes flash open and she reels back before immediately regreting the hasty action and yelping in pain.

"What are you doing here? What am I doing here?" Lapis asks, frantic. Her shoulders raise in alarm and she tries to sit up and assert herself.

"You got hurt," Pearl explains softly. "You passed out, and I insisted we take you in."

"...What?" Lapis bites back a sarcastic response in wake of her confusion. And then her breath hitches and she remembers everything.

"Steven!" She yells. She scrabbles at the pullout couch to pull herself up and falls to the floor. "Ow! Ugh..."

Pearl struggles to help her back up. "You're still in pretty bad shape. I'm surprised you didn't retreat into your gem after that fiasco."

"Well thank you _so much_ for your concern," Lapis sneers. "But I'm fine." She pushes herself up and surpresses a yelp of pain to hide how damaged her body really is.

Pearl purses her lips and strains her own body to try and help Lapis stand. Lapis shoves her away with a growl.

"You'd really be better off resting," Pearl mumbles, fussing with her bangs absentmindedly.

"Please," Lapis grits her teeth and smacks Pearl's hand away. "You had me stuck in a mirror for 5,000 years. The least you can do is leave me alone. Literally."

Cheeky, Pearl thinks in frustration. She really wishes that Lapis would just let her be nice, but she doubts that it's going to happen. Pearl really wishes Steven were here.

"Lapis, just let me help-,"

"No! I don't need any help. Especially not from _you."_ Lapis coughs and stumbles again, using twice as much effort to haul her body upright.

"Is it such a task for you to stop being difficult for just one moment and let me help you stand straight up?!" Pearl snaps, running her piano player's hands through her hair in exasperation.

"Unbelievable. I'm being bossed around by a service drone. Not even a fully functional one at that," Lapis hisses with such venom Pearl backs off. Lapis smiles to herself.

"What is your problem?" Pearl grumbles, hurt. Lapis stands up and feigns ability. Her face is gaunt, but the fire in her eyes almost hides how deathly weak she looks.

"You wanna know what my problem is? Fine," Lapis growls. "All you had to say was 'sorry'."

Lapis uses the wall as a crutch and limps towards the door. She's moving at a painstaking pace, but she's getting on nonetheless. Pearl doesn't know if she can swallow her pride, and she doesn't know if she can sound sincere doing it, but she tries.

"Lapis," Pearl begins, unsure of how to fix this mess. "I apologize. Sincerely. And I know you don't trust me, and I also know that you have every right not to trust me. But I can't allow you to bring harm to yourself. Let me help."

Lapis sighs and shakes her head. _"Unbelievable."_

"What is it this time? I apologized, didn't I?"

"Sure. Let's go with that. I wholeheartedly accept your apology and now you can be free and absolved of your crippling guilt. Now can I leave?"

Pearl grinds her teeth. It's usually around this time that she scoffs and retreats to her room, fuming, but she figures that probably won't help the situation much in this case. "Lapis, please. I won't put a hand on you until you let me."

"Alright. I won't let you, then."

Pearl glowers and releases a low growl. She clenches her fists. Lapis smiles patronizingly. "That's not very friendly, you know."

Pearl gives up. She decides to let her actions speak, and she stands behind Lapis in wait. She will keep her promise. She refuses to touch the gem. Lapis hears the taller gem behind her and freezes, twisting around.

"What?" Lapis mutters.

"I'm sorry."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

Pearl looks away, averting her eyes. She hope Lapis knows that she's being sincere this time. Pearl is no longer prideful in this moment. She has no pride left to spare. It has all flowed out of her with Lapis' thick sarcasm and her own ichor. How strange it would be to feel proud right now- with her disheveled hair and beaten body! No, Pearl feels no pride. She feels only guilt and the desire to sit back down on the pullout couch.

Lapis looks at her, and she looks like she's pitying the taller gem. And then, without any indignace or reluctance in her voice, Lapis replies. "I accept your apology."

She tries to walk again but crumples under her own weight. "Walk with me." She demands. Pearl obeys blankly, tip toeing over and supporting the Ocean gem's legs.

They walk out to the door and on to the Beach House patio before Lapis is too weak to go on. They stop for a rest and stick their legs through the wooden rails.

"So Steven likes you, for some reason," Lapis mutters, looking out into the ocean. Pearl looks the other direction, towards the boardwalk, caught in a faraway gaze. "Enlighten me. Are you his mother? Sister? Uh... L-,"

Pearl cuts Lapis off, blue with embarrassment. _"No!_ Not that! I'm... I'm his surrogate mother, I suppose."

"Oh."

"It's killing me," Pearl admits from nowhere. "Steven... I truly miss him so much and I'm worried sick with him in Jasper's hands. Garnet won't let me leave the house either with the damage I've sustained. I'm just..."

Lapis finishes her sentance. "Trapped?"

"Yeah. Trapped." Pearl sighs and feels along her sash. It's tight enough to keep the wound from chafing and stinging, but loose enough for mobility. Still, Pearl wishes she didn't have to hide behind it. She wonders if Lapis can see the way she's cringing as she moves.

"Well, you're not their subservient, are you?" Lapis asks, quirking a brow.

"I wouldn't assume?" Pearl doesn't know where the Ocean gem is taking this conversation, and she's a tad apprehensive.

"Then don't let them tell you what to do. You have to do some things for yourself sometimes, Pearl," Lapis offers her a half a sympathetic grin.

Pearl is shocked. It's the first time Lapis had ever addressed her as more than just a part of the Crystal gems.

"But Garnet-,"

"What, are you their robot?" Lapis suddenly scowls, and scrunches her nose as if she had eaten something rotten (or eaten at all). "Are you their servant? Their _drone?"_

Pearl snaps her head to glare at Lapis. She knows the coy Ocean gem is trying to goad her into something reckless. Pearl isn't stupid, and she hopes that she hasn't come off as that to Lapis.

"What do you want from me?" Pearl asks, although she sounds more curious than accusing.

"I want you to help me get back Steven," Lapis says bluntly.

"If I agree?"

"Good."

"And if I refuse?"

"You can stay prisoner in this house and treated like an invalid until you completely recover," Lapis shrugs. "Which probably won't be for a few weeks at best."

Pearl scrunches her brow. "Just why are you so intent on taking me with you? Only moments ago you blatantly refused my aid."

Lapis thinks for awhile and stares at the ocean. She finally smiles and looks at Pearl brightly. "Because I can tell that you'll do anything for Steven, and because I think out of all the Crystal gems, you're the most likely to change." Lapis smirks, as if challenging Pearl to interpret that as she likes.

Pearl would never disobey Garnet. She would never do such a juvenile stunt as to run away from home. She would never dream of ridding the other two gems of such a burden as herself. She would never deliberately hurt her teammates by dissapearing.

And yet, here she is, carrying a lame-legged gem who she has yet to share one hundred sentences with, and walking along the beach shore in order to find a son who has never called her 'mother' before.

As far as Pearl is concerned as she chases the ghost of Jasper though the thick night air, she's already changed drastically.

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**Kudos to everyone who favorited, followed, or reviewed! **


	4. Runaways

They did not take the warp pad. Lapis had rationalized that Jasper knew only of the warp pads leading to Homeworld, and thus would prefer traveling by foot. They'd have a better chance finding her whereabouts by asking locals who would've seen her. Thankfully, there was only one direction to head off in, as Beach City was surrounded by water on almost all sides. They skirt the edges of the boardwalk to avoid catching sight of Amethyst. No doubt the purple gem will just force them to return home if she catches them.

Pearl sets Lapis down on a street bench and releases a heavy breath. "We can't walk like this and expect to catch up to her." Pearl bites her lip and forces herself to admit, "we're just not strong enough to match her speed right now."

"I hate to admit it, but you're right," Lapis hums, bothered. "I mean, not to kill team morale or anything, but I can't even walk. You had to carry me here."

They sit in silence for a moment, contemplating quitting the entire mission altogether. How could they possibly find her? They don't know any surefire way of locating her, besides from common sense and gut, and that alone has only brought them this far. Pearl almost stands to turn around, defeated, but she is stopped when she sees a large bus screech to a halt in front of them. She checks the signpost next to the bench and realizes that the bus must be making a stop here.

The bus doors reel open with a groan, and Pearl signals for the driver to hold on for a minute while she examines the schedules. It appears the bus is heading west, to a stop somewhere in Dovertown, a few miles over. Pearl is hit with an idea.

"Um, excuse me, but how much is sufficient fare to ride to Dovertown?"

Lapis jerks her head at her as if to silently demand what Pearl thinks she's doing, but the taller gem ignores her. The bus driver, a man with a striking resemblance to a fresh cut stump, smiles wolfishly. "S'about three dollars a piece. But you girls look desperate so maybe we can work somethin' out, yeah?"

Pearl growls at the man's brazen flirting. She hauls Lapis up bridal style, materializes six dollars, and shoves it in the bus driver's hands. "Pig." She spits, sitting in the very back of the bus.

Never before has she seen such a disgusting human contraption. Chewed wads of gum fester under the seats and on the rusted iron rails like dead cicadas. The insides smell like piss and cologne (the sweaty teenage male kind), and the bus probably had no suspensions, because every slight nick in the road jars Pearl's spine. The radio spews out news that Pearl doesn't care for, and the driver peeks at them through the big rearview mirror up by the windshield. A few others are on the bus, and they send the two gems strange looks.

A child mistakes them for circus clowns.

"This is humiliating,"Pearl mumbles, unsure if she has really made the right decision. The boy stares at Lapis, enchanted with her azure skin and hair.

"Oh no, I'm perfectly fine with the situation at hand. What a grand idea," Lapis grumbles, looking down at the small thing. Pearl realizes that Lapis is not angered by the boy's presence, but rather, she is intruiged. He smiles up at her and tugs on his mother's bag.

"Momma! The blue lady looked at me!"

"Did she," The mother says monotonously, hardly paying mind to her son. She's nose deep in a checkbook, filling out boxes with a chewed on ballpoint pen. It makes Pearl's nostrils flare. How dare that mother take her child for granted? Has Pearl done that before?

"Mom, you didn't even look!" The boy grumbles, crossing his arms and staring at the ground.

"Yes, it's very nice," his mother responds, apathetic to her son's upset tone. She knits her brow and marks something down. He looks back up at the gems with wide eyes, as if they can get his mother to pay attention to him.

Pearl doesn't know if she should say anything. She knows that she doesn't approve of how neglectful that mother seems, but she doesn't want to pry into the lives of humans. Or she doesn't care to. She's not sure which.

Pearl doesn't have to say a word, because Lapis speaks up instead.

"Hello," Lapis mutters awkwardly. The child's eyes light up with stars and it sends an ache through Pearl's chest.

The boy glances at his mother, and then, sure that she's not monitoring him, scrabbles over to Lapis and takes the seat next to her. Lapis, although she is still apprehensive, looks unusually delighted, and grins. Pearl wonders if the child also reminds Lapis of Steven. Pearl watches the interaction without intervening, a skill she's proved proficient in over the years. Gems, at least the Crystal gems, didn't particularly interact with humans. And for the first time, Pearl really wonders why. Rose Quartz comes to mind, however, and the idea is shut down. She knows why.

But Lapis pays no mind and talks to the child idly.

"Is your skin really this color?" He asks innocently. Lapis chuckles.

"Yes. I'm not from here. I'm an alien," Lapis says, waving her hands for emphasis. The child squeals in delight.

"I'm not from here neither! I'm from Toronto!"

"Is Toronto a different dimension of sorts?" Lapis asks, confused.

"No, Toronto's in Canada," the kid explains. Lapis Oh's, despite still not quite grasping the meaning.

The kid looks like he is about to talk again, but his mother finally looks up from her checkbook. "Aiden! Away from that woman!" She casts Lapis an apologetic glance. "I'm sorry, he doesn't mean to annoy people."

"He's not annoying at all," Lapis assures the woman.

She runs a hand through her strawlike brown hair and laughs like she's trying to cope with bad news. "Right."

Pearl tunes them out. The boy's resemblance to Steven sends a shiver down her spine. They have the same eyes. Pearl closes her eyes and listens to the radio. They're going off about some sort of casualty that happened nearby.

"... Thankfully, neighbors heard the commotion and called authorities, who apprehended the assailant. The injured man is now in the hospital, and it appears as though he should make a full, albeit slow, recovery..."

She'd taken to enjoying human news every now and again when the missions were particularly slow, and though she never intervened in human affairs, the particularly violent ones always interested her. Lapis draws her eyebrows together. Pearl figures that the Ocean gem doesn't find the news nearly as interesting as she does.

"Why are they fighting each other?" She asks, staring up at the intercom as if it will respond.

Pearl sighs. There's no way she can explain human nature to Lapis. Especially since she hardly understands it herself. "Some humans are strange," she says simply, without letting herself delve into detail. She's watched episodes of Criminal Minds with Steven, and she knows that humans have their motives, but she also knows that the idea of a species being cruel to their own kind strikes a flat chord with the younger gem. Lapis nods, and she looks out of the grimy bus window. The scenery passes by in a blur, like a thick gouche painting at the bottom of an outlet store's bargain bin. It's beautiful, yet useless. How can humans harm each other on this big canvas? Perhaps her imprisonment has created a pacifist out of her, but Lapis just can't understand it.

"You never explained to me," Pearl whispers. "How do we expect to find Jasper?"

Lapis sighs and shakes her head. "I'm still not sure."

"Ideas?"

"Well, Jasper is definitely seeking out Peridot," Lapis begins, "Because Peridot has the escape pod that can take them back to Homeworld. Or she can build one, at least." Pearl frowns. So Jasper's probably not going to the warp pads like Garnet insisted. Pearl wonders breifly if Garnet just needed an excuse to wreck things.

"And how is Jasper to find Peridot?"

"Oh, I don't know- basic gem technology? They're under Yellow Diamond's direct control. They have trackers, so that they can't lose one another."

Pearl is struck with an idea. She concentrates to form a holographic image of the two trackers. One, she decides, is Jasper's and one is Peridot's. Lapis looks on in intruige.

"So if we found a way to interrupt the signal between the trackers-," Pearl projects the image of frequencies coming between the trackers. The holographic gems buzz in disturbance. "-then we can locate the trackers!"

The two gems grin wide at each other before realizing what they're doing. Pearl is the first to break her smile, coughing and blushing the encounter off. As they ride the bus, closer and closer to Dovertown, Pearl tries to find solutions to the math that's piling up in her head. She's got to find a way to devise the exact ultrasonic waves between the two trackers, and with her limited knowledge on modern gem technology, she's at a steep disadvantage.

Pearl uses her gem's holographic powers as a workspace, juggling numbers and equations into the luminecent blue light. A few people stare, and the child across from them takes a picture with his toy camera. Lapis decides it's better for her not to intervene with Pearl's concentration.

"Oh, this is so exciting!" Pearl beams, solving for x and continuing on.

"You enjoy this?" Lapis asks incredulously.

"Solving equations is so gratifying," Pearl smiles. "There are so many means to one resolution, but in the end, there is always only one correct answer." The taller gem blushes a tad as she speaks. She usually doesn't surpress herself when she rambles around the other Crystal gems, and she realizes that she's been talking too long. "I apologize. I'm on a tangent."

Lapis chokes down the desire to reply something snarky, and shrugs. "It's okay. You can talk. I don't mind."

So Pearl talks. To both fill the space and keep her mind working. She's making calculations left and right, and Lapis can hardly keep up. Lapis Lazulis have never been made for arithmitic. Pearls, on the other hand, were programmed with machine repair and maintinence. It's only natural for Pearl to excel in such a subject.

Within the next hour, Lapis has memorized Pearl's voice. The excited stutter she makes when she transitions from one idea to the next, the high pitched 'Oh!' she squeaks when she remembers something new, and her aversion to monotone is etched into Lapis' mind. Lapis almost finds herself enjoying Pearl's ceaseless talking. It's relaxing to get her mind off of Steven, even if she's only burying the worry for a tad.

Pearl is mid sentence when the bus screeches to a halt. They lurch forwards, and Pearl has to throw her arm over Lapis like a lapbar to keep the younger gem from crashing against the floor. Lapis yelps when she sees why they've stopped. In front of them, all she can see is a haze of flashing, painstakingly bright, red and blue lights. A wail pierces her ears and for a moment, she's worried that it's some kind of human yowl before realizing it comes from the black and white car in front of them. Pearl gives Lapis a glance, and then darts to the front of the bus to see what's going on.

"Stop! Turn around. It's not safe here!" Commands a thin police officer who is slouching and holds the small of his back.

"What's wrong?"

"A- a- I actually don't know what it was! But it came through here and it destroyed a gas station!" The officer squeaks, shivering.

"That sounds like Jasper," Pearl hums.

"No, really?" Lapis grumbles, limping over towards her. It seems the bus ride has given her time to regenerate, and so she's capable of walking, but Pearl surmises that she still won't be able to fight or run.

"Come on, we've got to investigate!" Pearl snaps, rolling her eyes and plucking up Lapis. She hops out of the bus and sprints past the gaurd, rejuvinated with the notion of Jasper in such close proximity.

"Darn. I was just going to stay on the bus and let her get away," Lapis snorts.

"Can you stop with the attitude for one second?" Pearl growls through grit teeth as she heads towards the destroyed building. Her body is carried upon light feet, and the crunch of gravel under her pointe shoes make her feel alive.

"Sorry," Lapis hums, not sorry at all. She's just as ansty as Pearl to get a clue towards Steven, in truth. Her shoulders are hunched forward and her eyes locked on the site. She wishes that she were physically able enough to at least jog alongside Pearl.

"In any case," Pearl rolls her eyes, drawing to a walk as they approach the wreckage. "You should stay here. It's really not safe for you." She settles Lapis down a few feet away and dives in to investigate.

The entirety of the building seems to have been destroyed. Only a few steel support beams jut out of the hard cracked earth beneath it. It reminds Pearl of when Steven played with wooden blocks and called Garnet over to destroy his buildings so he could see them fall down. Everything seems to come back to Steven in some way. Like Pearl's life is a silken spiderweb, with Steven at the center and all other things delicately intertwined and connected to him.

But she can't think about that now.

Pearl scans the site with her gem, not finding anything particularly out of place. She does manage to find a tuft of white hair, probably belonging to Jasper. But that's not what catches Pearl's eye. What does that is a red piece of tattered cloth caught between two support beams. With the brute strength she doesn't have, Pearl shoves the support beams apart and eases out the precious fabric. She recognizes it immediately: Steven's shirt. It even has a shred of the yellow star in the center.

Pearl wants to break down and cry. Steven's okay. He regenerated on his own. She busts out a wide grin and ties the strip of cloth around her arm. As of this moment, she is travelling with a former enemy to find a common friend. As of this moment, she no longer shares company with the Homeworld gems, or with the Crystal gems.

Her alleigance right now is Steven. Maybe it had always been Steven.

Whatever it is, she's glad he's alive. He regenerated all on his own, and so quickly too! How proud she is!

"Ma'am, I'm going to need you to exit the site!" The officer snarls, running up to them. "As of right now, this property belongs to police investigation!"

"Very well," Pearl shrugs. She has taken all she needs- confirmation of Steven's survival. Pearl hops out of the wreckage, new hope filling her with energy, and she finds Lapis, who has crawled further back.

"What did you find?" Lapis asks.

"Steven's alive. We're right on Jasper's tail. Come on, Lapis. Let's get ourselves a radio."

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**Kudos to everyone who favorited, followed, and reviwied! I greatly appreciate your continued support!**


	5. Music

**Hi! **

**Someone mentioned that this story is remnicent of the Bad Pearl AU on tumblr. That's because it was based upon that AU. This story started out as a Lapis and Pearl centric askblog, but I decided it would be easier to keep the storyline going by writing instead. **

**Someone else mentioned that the relationship between them seems rushed, especially on Lapis' side. There's two reasons for that. One is because i'm not really the best writer, and when I planned this story out my only goal was to finish it (good writing would be a bonus), and the second reason with pop up later in the story.**

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They need a radio, so Pearl propositions they grab one from the second hand store in town. There is one not a block away, and Pearl materializes thirty dollars for an old handcrank radio and a pair of black ear buds with kinked wires. The man behind the desk, a well built man with brilliant dark skin, gives the tarnished ear buds to her for free.

Pearl nods gratefully and takes her things. Lapis is rifling through a stack of old records, tracing the thick stylized ink on the album covers. She's getting stronger quickly, although she still trips as she ambles about. It's not enough for Pearl to feel like they'd gain ground on foot.

"Human music is so fascinating," Lapis says, pulling off the sample headphones. "This one's about music in a jailhouse. Isn't that weird?"

"You're listening to Elvis?"

"As you are _obviously_ an expert musician, does your knowledge not look kindly upon him?" Lapis quips, quirking a brow.

Pearl just shrugs and crosses her arms. "Rock and roll is trash," she says simply. Lapis scoffs and rolls her eyes.

Pearl fiddles with her radio as Lapis listens to music. From the corner of her pale blue eyes, Pearl can see Lapis walking from music genre to genre, as if she is an insatiable starved man at a banquet. She lingers at the Jazz section, and Pearl smiles softly. She's so young. She hardly knows music yet.

There's something about Lapis' that makes Pearl smile. Everything is new to the girl. Music is new, life is new, and the mere ability to be free is new. It makes Pearl both very hopeful and very sad. On better circumstances, Pearl would like to stay with Lapis in this trashy store and listen to every rock and roll record it stocks. To dance in these coffee stained rugs listening to music that has never struck a happy chord with Pearl sounds wonderful beyond her age. It sounds so imperfectly _human._

The gentle-looking man behind the counter smiles at Lapis' eager expression- her perked eyebrows, her bright eyes, he can see her just like Pearl can. There's a strange chill that runs down Pearl's back, but she ignores it. How familiar it is though- the feeling of prickling skin and the clench in her chest, as if somebody is constricting it with barbwire fence.

"Honey," he says, and Pearl hates how he says it, "how about you check out this record? It's my favorite." He leaves the desk and walks over, pulling out an album and slipping the record out. He shows Lapis how to set it on the dilapidated record player, and his hands touch hers. Pearl fumes silently and works her radio. Who cares what Lapis does with humans? Who cares? Not Pearl. Pearl cares about Steven, and so that's what she'll worry herself about. Not something so petty as a human taking interest in Lapis.

Maybe it's the way Lapis' eyes shine once the first chord of 'Aura Lee' rings out, but Pearl wants to leave at once. She works quicker, throwing Lapis out of her mind and replacing the ocean gem with her wires and equations. Eventually, she figures out the perfect wavelength to pinpoint Jasper's location, and she works out some numbers as Lapis invites the casheir to show her how to dance to rock n roll.

Pearl is about to drag Lapis out when there is a loud crash, and a louder scream, and the three fly forwards. Pearl only has time to craddle her radio as she goes flying into the electronica section, and Lapis falls into the human, instantly pulling away with disgust as she regains her footing. No time now. Pearl switches the radio off and shoves it into her gem pocket. "Let's go," she says, not gritting her teeth when the human tells Lapis to come back whenever she likes. Lapis trips forward and Pearl catches her, tossing her onto her back like easy cargo.

"It touched me," Lapis says, confused.

"He," Pearl corrects, "and yes, he did. Humans are crass and rather affectionate, I might say. Don't let anyone place their hands on you, Lapis."

"You've got your hands on me."

"A minor technicality, seeing as you can't walk without my hands on you," Pearl snaps defensively, hiking Lapis further up her back.

Neither of them are fit to fight whatever caused that crash. Pearl half wants to command Lapis to just stay in the vinyl shop, but the idea of the Ocean gem hanging around the cashier makes her sweat run cold.

A caterwaul has them running in the direction of the disturbance, and all Pearl can hear is the familiar crunch of gravel under her pointe shoes and the roar of blood in her ears. Both give her more comfort than music ever has. She rounds a bend, dodges cars in the road that are driving away with shot engines and round headlights, and skitters down an alleyway shortcut. Lapis clings tightly to her shoulders, and Pearl can feel every one of her muscles tense.

"What is that?" Lapis yelps.

"Gem monster, I'll assume," Pearl shrugged, narrowly avoiding a speeding semi truck.

"Wait, you're running to slay a_ gem?!"_

"A gem_ monster_, yes!" Pearl growls back. She doesn't have time for this.

"Do I mean nothing to you?! Did my mirror teach you nothing?" Lapis roars, and Pearl shudders as she feels water from inside the city sewers shakes the ground.

It's Pearl's turn to be sarcastic. "Yes- don't free a gem if they're going to steal the ocean and almost kill your loved ones to create a ladder to Homeworld so they can disclose your location and get you almost killed again."

Lapis snarls, but keeps her mouth shut.

They come upon the monster, which is wrecking havok upon the city streets. It has a streetlight clamped within its huge pincers, and it crushes cars like flimsy toothpicks under six monstrous legs.

Water rushes from a fire hydrant and pools at the gem monster's feet. Lapis' eyes fix on the insect's eyes, breathing unsteady.

"Pearl, what-,"

"Gems become corrupted," Pearl snaps. "It's just what happens."

She doesn't have the energy to fight a monster and argue with Lapis, so she gently places the girl down a safe distance away. A few police officers help evacuate people and batter the monster with batons. They do little to eradicate the beast.

Pearl steps forwards and summons forth her spear, grinning. How she loves the feeling of a weapon in her hand and a monster begging to be pierced before her! It's unusual for her to be operating without her team, but she can adapt. She has in the past, and she will now.

Pearl leaps forwards and slams her spear into the monster's neck. It hardly pierces the thick hide, and Pearl is sent backwards in recoil. The tall gem swivels around, eyes peering for the monster's weak spot. The insect beasts lurches forwards and its sharp pincers graze Pearl's shoulder. Pearl flinches, but continues. She tries to land more hits, but none of them break the monster's shell. When she finally lands a useful hit against the creature's eye, she is thrown off by a loud, familiar voice.

"Pearl, stop it!" Lapis snarls, crawling from her safe spot to face the beast head on.

Pearl gasps. What does she think she's doing?

Lapis throws herself into the fray, wobbling slightly. She stares into the insect beast's eyes. "You! I don't know you, but you can't be evil. You're a gem, like me! Please... Please stop this!" Lapis yells.

The insect hardly blinks before driving its pincers forwards to impale the Ocean gem. Lapis is thrown forward just as the pincer nicks her arm, and she whips her head back around, eyes wide. Pearl had pushed her out of the way.

Pearl has a wide scratch on her stomach, and she's dematerializing, as if she's honed to escape back into her gem at any time now. Lapis panicks, frantically trying to pull herself together. The grit beneath her digs into her skin, and she hisses. It's cold and soaked.

Water.

There's freaking water everywhere from the fire hydrant.

She's so incredibly stupid.

Lapis groans at her own mistake and summons the water to her will, creating a barrier between the bug and Pearl. It's so hard to remember that Earth is filled with this substance naturally. Lapis slams a wall of water into the beast with a yell, and the insect whines, falling to its side. Brute force has always been her friend.

Lapis directs the water in a thick block above the monster, poising it like a boot ready to stomp an ant. Her resolve quivers.

"Lapis, what could you possibly be waiting for?" Pearl croaks, nursing her wound and trying to bring herself to her feet.

"I- I can't! It's just a gem, like us..."

"No, it's not like us! It's a monster, Lapis, it's a monster."

Lapis says those words in her head as she brings the block down and sends the insect into its gem. Her hands are shaking. It's a monster. It's a monster. Water oozes back into the storm drains and sewers as Lapis releases her hold on it. She watches as Pearl stands to her feet, wobbly but refusing to show how weak she is, and limps over to the monster. Pearl forms a magic bubble around it and taps the top, disintegrating the bubble and gem into the air.

"You trapped it?" Lapis snapped, "Unbelievable!"

"Relax," Pearl huffs, brows drawn. "It's going back to the temple until we know how to rehabilitate it. We're trying to save it, do you understand?" She's too tired for this.

"You mean you're going to help it?"

"Yeah. Yeah we are."

Pearl doesn't know who 'we' refers to, but she doesn't care. All she cares about is Steven's shirt tight around her arm, and the radio in her gem. Lapis snorts and decides that it's her turn to let Pearl lean on her. The taller gem refuses at first, but quickly relents with a blush. Lapis grins brilliantly out of Pearl's sight.

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**Kudos to everyone who favorited, followed, or reviewed!**


	6. Flight

**I actually plan to 100% finish this, so I'm very excited! The last few chapters will update without much time between them. **

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They've made seventy miles on a beat up pickup truck. Although Lapis was willing to just steal a car, Pearl worried that they would get caught or warrented for arrest. So they had spent the last hour and a half at a junkyard, while Pearl constructed a car from almost nothing more than memory. It was impressive, but Lapis has yet to admit any gratitude other than a scoff.

Pearl is behind the wheel, cruising at a steady thirty five down a beat up roadway. Trees cloud the skies and blockade them from the rest of the world. For now, the universe is composed of Pearl's foot on the gas pedal and the peeking stars above them. They haven't a functional satalite radio, and so the drive is filled with only the crunch of gravel and the concerning rusty sounds of the makeshift ride. Lapis desperately needs talk to fill the void, but she hasn't an idea of a thing to say. Pearl has been quiet too.

Pearl's tracker lay on the dashboard, whirring frequencies like mad. They're getting so close to Jasper. So close.

With some mental math, Pearl figures that they should be upon Jasper in less than twelve hours. And then she can save Steven and be rid of Lapis, (and the frighteningly warm feeling of Lapis), forever.

But then the car spluters and stops. The wheel falls off an axel and the gas runs out. Pearl groans loudly and grits her teeth. If only she had more time! More time to make a car, more time to save Steven, more time for everything! She would even opt for more time with Lapis, if only she could have it.

"Can you fix that?" Lapis asks, breaking the silence.

"I don't think so. We've run this thing for it's time," Pearl sighs.

Lapis huffs and gets out, helping Pearl out as well. They're both regenerating quickly, but not quick enough to run. They're stuck walking for now, until a better opportunity comes up.

"Let's go," Pearl mumbles, tucking the radio under her arm. Already, the signals are getting weaker. Lapis nods silently, holding back a sarcastic comment.

So they walk, Lapis hanging on loosely to Pearl's arm for balance. Now that the trees aren't passing by in such a blur, Lapis can see each and every individual one. Or rather, she can feel them.

"There's water in those," Lapis observes, trying to channel the liquid out.

"Yes," Pearl affirms. "All earthen organic life has some form of water attached to it. Especially large ones such as these."

"Homeworld seems like a desert compared to here," Lapis shakes her head. She wishes Homeworld wasn't so different than she remembered. It's cold and metallic now. Advanced. Water is an afterthought to her old home, it seems, and Lapis would hardly say it aloud, but the presence of a constant source strength on Earth feels incredible. She wants to test out her wings. Could she fly yet? Perhaps she can fly as fast as Jasper runs, so that Pearl can stop looking so silent and defeated.

Lapis tests it out. It takes an unholy amount of concentration, but soon she has both wings outstretched. There's water all around her, she tells herself. She is a tree, absorbing water from the earth.

Pearl is startled. "You-"

Lapis grins. "I have my wings!"

Lapis wants to fly again, and so she expirementaly hops with a beat of her wings. She propells into the crisp night air, and all the smells and sensations of the forest come upon her. She pushes forwards, exhilarated. This feeling isn't that of what she experienced flying back to honeworld. This is, ironically, a sense of freedom for her- flying the limited atmosphere of the earth. Right now, in this moment when the moon is smaller than her wingspan, she has no destination. Only the air above her, the ground beneath, and her wings.

Lapis, reminded of Pearl, nosedives down, only narrowly escaping a crash, and lands next to Pearl.

"Let me hold you!" Lapis almost laughs, throwing her arms around Pearl's back. Pearl yelps and garbles some, blue in the face. How forward!

"Lapis, we really must search for Steven now...!" Pearl yelps as Lapis presses against her back and wraps her fingers around her front.

"No, I was just gonna fly us to Homeworld." Lapis rolls her eyes preparing to take off.

"You what?!"

"I'm kidding!"

With a strong push of her wings, they soar up into the air. Lapis struggles to hang on to Pearl and keep her balance, but she makes it work eventually. She grabs her wrist for leverage and starts flying down the road. They're not going quite as fast as the car, but they're going.

"Get out that radio!" Lapis yells over the wind.

"R-right! Take it easy with the flying!" Pearl snaps back, gently summoning the radio and twisting it on. She fishes the headphones from her gem and affixes one in her ear. The signals are clearer up here, untouched by the trees. Pearl can read them as I'd they were ink directions. "Due west, about fifteen degrees!"

"Wanna say that dumber?"

"Turn a little to your left!"

Flying takes Pearl's breath away, and it fills her with adreniline. She wonders how amazing it is to fly like Lapis, to be in control of your freedom. Right now, Lapis is piloting her- Lapis is in control. Pearl is horrified to realize that she doesn't mind that.

They're pressed together, their warm skin touching and burning up between them. Lapis' chin on her head, and Lapis' arms around her chest. That's all Pearl knows as she flies and only half focuses on the radio. They're almost spooning in the air, or perhaps, due to the circumstances, _jetpacking._

Pearl is glad that Lapis can't see her blush.

"We could go home, you know," Lapis whispers. "I wouldn't think of doing it if you didn't want to, but we could."

Pearl sighs and shakes her head. She knows she's so very close to going home. Leaving earth and all of its branches and chains forever. But Homeworld is no home to her.

"Why would I want to go home," Pearl asks gently, "if Steven is here?" those words are so crisp off her tongue that it almost scares her. "Steven is home to me. Steven and Garnet and Amethyst- they're my home."

Lapis closes her eyes and tries to imagine what it would be like to find home in somebody. The word is so foreign. Home was Homeworld, before it changed with the times. Home was her mirror, which was also a prison. Home was Malachite, in all of her ceaseless struggling. Lapis cannot imagine a home she would willingly fly to. She can fly forever without landing, she could do it whenever she wants.

She's no home's prisoner anymore. She refuses.

"You're lucky," Lapis says.

"Because I've got a home?"

"No, because you've got a family."

Pearl sighs and lets the silent wind find words for her. What can she tell such an isolated gem about home? The truth, the wind whispers. But Pearl can't tell Lapis the truth, because the truth is strange. She can't tell Lapis that she wants the ocean gem to be a part of their dysfunctional family. She can't tell Lapis how much she loves being held like this, suspended above the treetops. There's no time for love. All of her time, Pearl has to remind herself, belongs to Steven.

Again, she is at odds with time.

She listens to the radio and instructs Lapis to turn a tad to the left. Lapis complies, skillfully angling her wings and cruising westward. She's forced to fly slower now, both because she has very little energy reserves in the first place and because Pearl weighs her down.

For the first time, Pearl is given a moment to think about something other than Steven. And she worries about Garnet and Amethyst. How are those two doing without her? Are they okay? Amethyst is probably mad at her, and Garnet is probably so worried that she would go off to smash the warp pads again.

Pearl is sure that she has outgrown recklessness, but if that's true, then why is she doing this? In no state to take on a powerful monster like Jasper and hardly even in a state to run?

All she knows is that if she closes her eyes, she can almost see Steven.

"We're going to be cruising for some time. You should probably rest or something."

"Gems don't-," Pearl is interrupted.

"Need sleep? Gosh, I-I didn't know that!" Lapis quips. "Really though. Relax. You don't have to stop yourself from something just because you don't need it."

"You need someone to guide you," she insists.

"Jasper's been going in the same direction for ages. I promise, I can fly in a straight line without a problem," Lapis shoots back playfully.

Pearl relents, then sighs. "Fine. But wake me if the radio starts acting up."

As Pearl falls asleep in her arms, Lapis sighs and stares into the moon. If only Pearl knew, she thinks. If Pearl knew, they wouldn't be flying at all. Lapis sees a smile form on Pearl's lips and she grimaces, flying faster with the added anxiety.

The moon suddenly seems much larger.

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**Kudos to everyone who favorited, followed, or reviewed! You guys are wonderful!**


	7. Stress

**I did say these chapters were going to be published very close together. I really want to complete this so I can start working on my next fic. Don't worry- if all goes as planned quality shouldn't suffer.**

**TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR PTSD, BRIEF MENTIONS OF DEATH, AND WAR.**

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Pearl hates sleeping.

Because sleeping means dreaming, which means war.

She can't tell when she lost consciousness, but it hasn't been long, because she's at the start again. The start of a never ending film that replays in her head over and over again like an old tape. Like one of the horror movies Steven watches with her so often that she's memorized the plot, yet still flinches at the jumpscares. She's replaying the final level of a videogame she can't win. And it always starts the same.

She's in a strawberry feild. Or rather, in what will become a strawberry feild in a few thousand years. For now, it's a cold plains, with wind sweeping the grass beneath her shoes. Oh, how she hates her shoes. Her ballet slippers, while beautiful, are not made for this grime of battle, and so she wears clunky combat boots that ride up her calves. All is quiet on the front, save for the sound of gems behind her, holding their pose. They lie in wait, under Rose's command. The grass itches their noses.

The moon is high tonight, and though Pearl is numb to the rush of cold, she still shivers. Pearl isn't controlling her body now. She's a monitor reliving the scene from her eyes, like a first person live action replay. Her senses are null.

Suddenly, a cannon! It explodes, noise jarring Pearl out of her composition. She can only barely work up the nerve to command her comrades to hunker down. She orders them to summon their weapons and wait.

It's the rush of battle, heat risen to her face and muscles coiled to release. More cannons explode, fire erupts from gem powered flamethrowers.

Homeworld troops march forward, unawares. Pearl commands her party into action, letting out a brutal war cry before leaping from her cover and snapping her spear through a poor gem. The gem shivers and then explodes into dust. Pearl knows what she must do, but she doesn't like it. She poises her boot over the gem, ready to smash it into shards.

She gasps when the moon strikes the gem.

It's a tear shaped azure stone that shines brilliantly in the moonlight. Pearl's eyes widen, shocked. It's a Lapis Lazuli!

Can she destroy this gem? Pearl finds that she is back in control of her body at the worst time, now burdened with the choice of destroying a possible threat, or saving a possible friend. A gem swinging a huge purple ax whips around and glares at her.

"What are you doing? Crush it!" She yells. Pearl knows that if she were in the mindset of her past self, she wouldn't have hesitated. That's what scares her.

"I-I," Pearl stutters, shivering profusely now. A gem comes up behind her ready to strike, but her comrade saves her, slicing the attacker in half. She slams her foot on the newly retreated gem, and it shatters.

"See? That's how it's done."

The flames are overtaking the dry grass quickly. Pearl is surrounded by fire, and destruction, and the sound of breaking crystals. She breathes in fire and exhales a whimper.

"Lapis," she whines, foot still hovering over the gem.

"For diamond's sake!" Her teammate growls, shoving her away from the precious stone and smashing it into the dirt.

Pearl yells. "Lapis!" She dives for the shards, but they're already doused in ichor, disintegrating in her fingers.

The fire is closing quickly, and Pearl can't see over the smoke and flames. She tries to move, but her body is floored. Move, move, move! she screams in her mind. Get out of there! But she can't. As much as she struggles, her body refuses to move, and so she panicks.

She has one shard of Lapis Lazuli left before the flames engulf her.

"Lapis!" Pearl wakes with a start, clutching her heart.

They've landed on the grass below them, and Lapis is hovering above her, a worried expression on her face. The ocean gem has knit brows and a deep frown.

"Pearl! I'm right here, relax!" Lapis yelps, unsure of what had occurred in Pearl's mind. She's even more shocked when Pearl grabs her and pulls her to her chest tightly, as if she will dissapear if Pearl doesn't hang on well enough. Lapis can feel Pearl's heart drumming at an incredible rate, and the blood rushing through the taller gem's ears. Pearl is quivering and Lapis reluctantly puts her arms around the Crystal gem.

"It's okay," Lapis hums, unsure, "I'm here. We're okay."

Pearl settles down after a solid few minutes, and she releases Lapis with a short apology, though she still looks like she's seen a monster.

"Pearl? Are you okay?" Lapis asks softly, leaning up against the gem to offer some support. "What was that?"

Pearl shakes her head. "Nothing concerning you." She pulls her long legs to her chest and wraps her arms around them.

"You were yelling my _name,"_ Lapis snaps, although she seems to be lashing out more in concern rather than anger.

"I see," Pearl whispers, turning away. She's trying to convince herself it was just a dream. War had a nasty way of settling in her. But she couldn't worry about that. Not now. Pearl shook out of her stupor and feigned confidence, like a leaf in the middle of winter refusing to fall from its branch.

"Let's gain more ground on Jasper," she says.

"I was actually taking a break from flying because-,"

"Then let's walk."

Lapis snorts and pulls herself up, grunting. "You _obviously_ slept well." The ocean gem fiddles with the radio in her hands, switching it on before handing it off to Pearl.

Pearl tries her best to read the signals, but the dream has thrown her off, and the best she can make of the static is a general direction. She points, and they walk. Lapis fills her in. They'd been flying for four solid hours, when she started to lose balance, and so they'd been earth bound for the last hour, regaining strength.

Lapis' chatter eases Pearl's mind, and she can surmise that they've gained a full mile on Jasper flying, including the rest break, which isn't much, but it's a start.

"So," Lapis began. "Are you going to fill me in on your horrific night terrors, or are we gonna pretend nothing happened?"

"Look, Lapis, it's nothing. Truly," Pearl insists.

"So we're going with 'nothing happened'," Lapis deadpans, unconvinced.

They travel in silence for a long time until Lapis can't take it anymore. "So are there ghosts in your nightmares, or Peridot's creepy robot fingers, or what?"

Lapis smirks and flicks Pearl on the arm, causing the Crystal gem to jolt up and whimper. Lapis snickers. "Come on, Pearl," she whines. "Tell me."

Pearl snaps. "_Fine_! You wish to know what has me flustered so bad? Every time I trick myself into sleeping I get horrid, violent flashbacks of the Great Gem War! And I can't move in these dreams, and I relive all the painful moments I faced in combat that I'd prefer to forget in wakefulness!" She roars. "So thank you, Lapis Lazuli, for bothering me, but I'd like to be quiet now, please!" Pearl shoves her headphones in and cranks up the volume so that the only thing she hears is the static radio. Tears threaten to roll down her cheeks but she commands them to stop.

Lapis is taken aback. She didn't expect Pearl to freak out like that. She says nothing for awhile, walking besides the sobbing gem. How sobering.

Lapis does not apologize, but she does nudge Pearl with her arm. Pearl doesn't move away, so Lapis tucks her arm around Pearl's waist. She can feel the tense muscles underneath Pearl's sash. Although Lapis' primary function inside the mirror was to recount history, she never had to actually live through the war. She just watched. She felt the war as if she were a moviegoer trapped in a five thousand year blockbuster.

Lapis doesn't want Pearl to feel alone like that. She knows how feeling alone is. So Lapis gently pulls out one of Pearl's ear buds and sticks it in her ear, trying to make sense of the static like Pearl can.

"So, uh, how does this thing work?" Lapis asks gently.

Pearl sighs, and almost smiles. Lapis realizes that Pearl is full of _almost's._ Pearl was _almost_ strong enough to defeat Jasper. Pearl was _almost_ brave enough to tell Lapis the truth, whatever that may be, and Pearl was _almost_ smart enough to stay in the Beach House, away from this mess. Lapis thinks the almost in Pearl is great, but she would really like to see what Pearl is like without her almost. Lapis is worried by her own thought processes. This isn't the mission. Pearl's almost can wait.

"So the transistor radio projects feedback of the satalite discrepancies between Jasper and Peridot. It's all very interesting, actually..." And Pearl is off on a tangent, relaying information Lapis could never understand. But Lapis likes to hear her talk and say all these big words and algorithms like they're plain English. "... so they actually calculate to the direct latitude and longitude of the midpoint between them..."

Pearl notices that Lapis isn't actually listening and trails off. "That's the basics, at least."

Lapis smiles. She nods and pretends to understand even half of Pearl's science.

They walk on further, coming to a gravel road. It leads to a city, and as Pearl happily puts it, a newer car. Lapis hangs on to Pearl and pretends it's because flying has drained her, but in truth, she really just wants to hold the taller gem. She's unsure of what transpired over the night to create such a magnetic pull to Pearl, but she knows it's something that she would rather never understand.

"Lapis?" Pearl asks.

"That's me," Lapis replies.

"About what happened earlier..." It takes Pearl an entire minute of mulling over the right words before she can bury her pride and speak. "I'm sorry for lashing out."

"It's okay, Pearl." Lapis whispers.

Pearl suddenly understands Amethyst's annoyance at apologizing and not receiving an apology in return. It doesn't seem like Lapis is ready to atone for any of her actions right now, but that's okay with Pearl. She knows what it's like.

"There are no winners in war," Pearl whispers. "There's only the side that writes the story. Everyone is hurt in battle, and if they don't perish by a sword, they're destroyed by the aftershock."

Pearl's glad that she has Lapis to lean on right now. "That's the one horrible thing that Homeworld and Earth have in common, I suppose. War is ingrained in us."

"Why do you crystal gems treasure earth so much?" Lapis shakes her head. "To turn on your own kind... To destroy thousands of gems... What vision of the earth must you see to find it worth the ichor lost?"

Pearl stops and points at the earth beneath them. Lapis looks.

"Do you see that?" Pearl asks. "That's a crack."

"I realize."

"Have you ever seen a crack in Homeworld?"

"Uh, no?"

"Earth is so full of cracks and slivers. Blemishes and imperfections that scar its rocky surface. Before Earth, I don't think I've ever known anything but smooth stainless surfaces and conformity," Pearl stares at Lapis, eyes trailing over the girl's red bruises from the shackles she's worn. "It inspired me to change. Earth was the first thing to show me that I didn't have to be a clone to be remarkable. Rose was the second." Pearl smiles like she is remembering a fond memory.

Lapis can almost understand.

"And it adapts so often, Lapis! Strawberries cover the old gem battlefields as far as the eyes can see! Butterflies inhabit old relics, and thick jungles with developed ecosystems live on old warfronts! Earth is so imperfect and beautiful, and it always manages to turn ugly memories into lovely scars. That's why I love it, I suppose." Pearl smiles as she thinks back on all the breathtaking things she's seen the Earth do in her lifetime. Maybe one day she will dream of strawberry fields or butterflies instead of fire and destruction, so she can learn to adapt like the earth.

Lapis is going to respond, but then she senses something. A powerful gem is nearby. At first she mistakes the gem for Jasper, but from what Pearl's told her about the radio, Jasper is nowhere near here. Pearl can feel the presence as well, and she turns around. They both gasp.

"Pearl!" The pursuer roars. _"Lapis Lazuli_!"

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**Kudos to Everyone who favorited, followed, or reviewed!**


	8. Played

**You kids who predicted that it was Garnet are pretty clever- although I didn't really try to hide the fact very hard. **

**Anyways, the next chapter is the ending, and the chapter following that will be the epilouge! Thank you for reading this far! The story should be finished within the next two weeks, which is an extrodinary accomplishment for me, since I have never finished a chapter story before. Keep up the great reviews, because they're what inspired me to finish this in the first place!**

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"Garnet," Pearl whispers, cursing. The tall gem hangs on to Lapis, the small girl clinging to her waist tightly. Lapis shivers and Pearl can feel the muscles in her arms- tense and urging them both to go.

"Pearl," Lapis whimpers, "Let's go already..." The ocean gem swallows a gulp of air and digs her bare feet into the rough earth beneath her. They're in some city, and on some street corner next to a convenience store and the edge of the world. People step by and glance at them before decidedly turning on their heels.

Lapis feels the tension in the air like a leaf on the surface of the ocean, bending the film of the water but not quite submerging. She wants to leave. She wants to leave before things get ugly.

Garnet slows once she realizes that her targets aren't trying to escape. She plants her feet a few yards away and begins to walk, gauntlets out and clenched tightly. Her shoulders are unusually tight, and her gait is strained. She's grimacing, and Pearl knows that Garnet's trying her best to bottle her anger before she explodes. The Crystal gem stands before them within seconds, visor masking her eyes and making her ten times as intimidating.

Garnet says nothing at first, only looking upon the sad spectecle of two battered gems, frowning deeply. How sad they must look, Pearl thinks. Lapis is still hanging to her waist, and the ocean gem had inconspicuously inched around to Pearl's back, using the taller gem as a barricade. Pearl doesn't blame her.

Garnet sighs once she realizes the once hostile gem poses no threat now. She phases away her gauntlets and tries to relax her stance. Despite, she's still obviously stressed, jaw firm and locked like a rusty revolver. Garnet presses her lips together in a line and mulls over her words. Finally, she speaks up.

"Explain."

Pearl flinches. There really is no way to explain their position. She openly disobeyed Garnet and disregarded the feelings and power of the team. And for what? To act like some hero? What is she trying to prove, out here with Lapis Lazuli in the middle of nowhere?

"Sorry," Pearl whispers. She has to force her composure and fake her pride. It comes easy. "I know you instructed me to stay at the temple, but I couldn't. I wouldn't permit myself to just sit there while you and Amethyst tried to find Steven," she extropoliated. "Lapis came with me. And we're regenerating quite fast! She can already fly!" Pearl knows that they're still in no shape to take on Jasper, even if Lapis can fly now.

Garnet takes a heavy breath. "Pearl, you're acting foolish. Come home. Now."

Pearl shakes her head and feels Lapis tighten her grip around her, as if she's afraid Pearl will be swayed to head back to beach city.

"I've made it this far," Pearl hissed. "I can't go back now. I won't allow myself to sit there like a burden. I won't allow myself to be useless."

Lapis cringes when she hears the weight in those words. She begins to pay attention for the first time and notices just how falsey Pearl's confidence is. The neurotic gem almost has a bit of a complex. She has to overexert herself and prove everything she does is righteous, or she loses her self worth. She has to work twice as hard to see herself as useful. Lapis notices this with everything Pearl does, and not just in her words. She had to take on Jasper despite knowing she was not nearly as strong, she had to carry Lapis when she could hardly walk, and she insisted on fighting the insect gem monster alone.

How long has Pearl felt inadequate? It hurts Lapis to wonder.

Garnet walks forward, gently, as if dealing with two frightened animals. She settles her hands on Pearl's shoulders and sighs. "You were never a burden," she assures, squeezing her grip before letting it grow slack. "But why did you leave? What convinced you to think I saw so low of you?" Pearl hears the underlying question, and it hurts like venom; what did I do wrong?

"I... I just felt- I don't even know. Weak? Subservient?" Pearl's looking for the right word, but the longer she tries to conjure it up, the more she realizes that she's been picking from the wrong set of synonyms. She almost says the word that's been laying in her stomach since she looked at Lapis, but she doesn't.

"Pearl, you were never treated below the team!" Garnet mutters, startled.

"I... Wasn't?"

"Of course not. What led you to think that?"

When Pearl figures it out, she frowns. The word she's been trying so hard to deny slaps her in the face. Infatuation.

Lapis had been charming. Lapis had said all the words that Pearl had been begging to hear. Of course, she had wanted to leave before speaking with Lapis, but she wouldn't be here without the Ocean gem's coy smile. Heat rises to Pearl's cheeks. Lapis treated her special. Lapis pretended to want to know about her technology. Lapis Lazuli played her like a piano.

Of course, Pearl can't let herself admit that in front of Garnet.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing," Pearl hisses. "Let's go, Lapis."

"Finally!" Lapis laughs shakily.

"Wait! Where do you think-,"

"I'm going to find my baby, and you can't stop me! I'm not getting swayed again!" Pearl roars, finally losing her composure.

Garnet feels Pearl's fury eminating through the tall gem's skin. Garnet shakes her head. She can't let Pearl go on her own. The gem will be crushed. But it's obvious Pearl won't come home.

"Pearl, please. Amethyst-,"

"Tell her to do as she likes! She doesn't need me," Pearl snarls, hostile and bothered. "If my gem gets crushed, my gem gets crushed, and you were right all along. But let me go."

Garnet watches the two walk for a bit before trying one last time. "You're selfish, Pearl! If you," she has to take a breath before she can force the word out, "die, then what will Steven do? He already lost one mom! He can't lose you!"

Pearl examines all the reckless and stupid things she's done. She thinks of how she's been duped and she thinks of how she couldn't defeat the gem monster. She frowns and grits her teeth. Steven doesn't need a role model like her. Steven doesn't need this. She shakes her head. Her pride is crumbling, but she can keep up the afterimage as long as she wants.

"I don't care," Pearl snaps, just loud enough for it to cut into Garnet's heart.

The tall gem bows her head. Pearl is unfamiliar to her now.

What happened to her comrade? What happened to her best friend? Garnet can't trust them to go alone. Not with Pearl so weak and Lapis so unstable. She forces herself to relent and backs away, keeping her sight on the two as she retreats. She'll make sure they're safe. The Crystal gems are a team of four- Garnet will make sure that it stays that way.

* * *

Pearl waits until Garnet is long gone to speak again. Lapis has removed herself from the tall gem. She knows. She knows that Pearl knows.

The tall gem wants to keep moving. She wants to get all of this out of her head, and so she focuses on the task at hand. Find a mode of transport that doesn't involve walking, and get Steven. She knows that she could ask Lapis to fly them a few more miles, but that would mean for the ocean gem to hold her, and Pearl won't allow that. She doesn't even want to acknowledge the younger gem's existence right now.

Eventually, Pearl finds a used car lot and materializes enough to procure a run down sedan. She gets in, opening the passenger door for Lapis, who edges in reluctantly. The plush seats are torn like a cat got to them, and there's garbage on the floor. Pearl tries not to think about it. The vehicle smells disgusting, and as Pearl drives it, she figures it operates even worse. She does the math in her head. They should be able to reach Jasper with this car within the night.

Lapis speaks up first. "Well? If you're going to reprimand me for my toxic actions then do it now, please. I don't want to wait in suspense." Pearl notes that the original cutting sarcasm in Lapis' voice has returned. She's no longer playful and smart- she's satirical and honest. The Crystal gem shivers.

"What have I to say?" Pearl responds quietly, trying to tune out Lapis' voice for the radio.

"Well, for starters, you can mention my heinous acts of stealing the ocean, almost drowning two children, trying to kill you with water copies of yourselves..." Lapis snarls, counting the offenses on her fingers. "Leading Homeworld gems to your planet, inadvertently seperating you from your practical child, taking advantage of your feelings for my purposes..." Lapis closes her fingers into a tight fist. "I mean, that's just some brainstorming. If you've got any more then go right ahead."

Pearl sighs. She closes her fists around the wheel and tries to pretend Lapis isn't there. The static tracker is getting much more raw. Lapis can tell that they're almost near Jasper. They've got six hours, tops. Lapis wants to make amends before then.

"Look, Pearl, I apologize," holding back on a snarky addition to her apology, Lapis averts Pearl's gaze.

Pearl bites the bottom of her lip. She changes the gears with her stick shift and urges the car to move faster. She takes a deep inhale of the cigarete smoke that the seats have been soaked in.

"You're a good actor," she says simply. "Good observer, too." The words sound innocent, but Lapis can hear the hurt rooted into them.

"You're not hard to read," Lapis admits.

"Thank you," Pearl snaps back, scowling.

"Pearl let me-,"

Lapis is cut off as Pearl drives her toe into the gas pedal and slams both of them backwards from the inertia.

"You know what?" Pearl hisses, "No. Let me speak. Here's what's going to occur, Lapis. We are going to find Steven and we are rescue him. And then you can fly off to homeworld again for all I care, because I never want to see you again. Understood?"

Lapis opens her mouth to object, but Pearl doesn't seem to want to argue, so she says nothing and pushes herself back into the seat. It's no use explaining to Pearl that Lapis didn't need to pretend anymore. The Crystal gem wouldn't listen to her anyways.

"Things are different now," Lapis grumbles into her shoulder.

"Yes, Lapis, they are so different!" Pearl roars, laughing humorlessly. "Reality check- it's only been ten hours since we left Beach city! Nothing changes in ten hours! And especially not this."

Lapis feels her anger bubble up in her chest. What does Pearl even understand about emotion? She's a practical robot! Lapis grits her teeth and clenches her fists. She takes a deep breath and then lunges forwards, smashing her lips against Pearl's. The distraction almost sends Pearl violently swerving off the road, but she catches herself just in time. Lapis tries to show Pearl. She tries to make Pearl feel that tug in her chest that she had felt while Pearl spilled her fears out to her, or when Pearl rescued the gem monster in the same way she had imprisoned Lapis. She wants Pearl to feel that almost, that need for completion. Half of Lapis blames her compulsive and passionate personality for this, and the other half doesn't care.

Lapis pulls away and stares into the Crystal Gem's sunken, tired eyes. Pearl drags her wrist against her lip, trying to wipe away that contact. She stares forward, to some unimaginable point in the fabric of space.

"I don't have time for this," she says.

And then they continue to drive in wordless white noise.

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**Kudos to everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed!**


	9. X

**Technically this is the last chapter, save for the epilogue. School is killing me, guys. **

**Also I would like to take a moment to thank Cfintimidator for their absolutely astounding review. His fantastic run sentence of a response to my last chapter really inspired me to take my work to the next level:_"So how many chapters would it take to where they found steven because all this is pure bullsh*t and does he turned into a corrupted monster". _**

**1\. I did say last chapter that there were only two parts left- the final chapter and the epilogue. I would assume that Steven would be located within these two chapters. Also, seeing as the story's main conflict is that Steven is missing, I would figure that a large chunk of the story would be finding Steven. **

**2\. Your word positively wound me. However, please go further in depth when you call something bullsh*t next time. I am not opposed to criticism, as long as it is constructive. I need some examples if you're going to call something BS, because I cannot possibly know how to improve it otherwise. **

**3\. No. Why would you even think that-... No. Just no. **

**In all honesty- thank you to all of you reviewers for making my day and my words feel like they mean something, even if it's just a little bit of happiness brought to a stranger on their mobile device. And to EpicFlight13, thank you (no sarcasm)! I realized that I can't resolve an entire romance in 2,000 or so words, and I tweaked the ending of the epilogue. **

* * *

Lapis doesn't know when they stop the car, but she knows they're close. The radio is going absolutely wild, and Pearl shuts it off. She claims that Jasper will be able to recognize a disturbance at this distance, and she might try to divert her path. Pearl hangs on to her car keys and drives further, slowly enough not to cause suspicion.

Lapis wants to apologize, but she doesn't know what to say. Nothing she can say can fix this. Pearl wants her gone. And as Lapis watches the forest morph into grasslands, she reminds herself that she probably deserves it. She was awake when Pearl was running her fingers through her hair, and she saw the look of jealousy in Pearl's eyes at the music store. It was no doubt that Pearl felt something. Lapis snorts to herself bitterly. Yeah, Pearl felt something alright.

Lapis can't shake the feeling that they're being watched. She wonders if Jasper is outsmarting them, leading them to a fake trail and stalking behind them with her jaws outstretched. Lapis doesn't rule the possibility out, but she doubts that Jasper is smart enough for a maneuver like that.

They come to a stop at the ridge of a steep cliff. Lapis can smell the crisp night air and she can almost see the beginning rays of a newborn sun making the morning sky pink. Pearl shuts the car off and gets out, motioning for Lapis to do so as well.

"Pearl, before we-,"

"Let's get moving. We're close," Pearl cuts her off. Pearl knows that if she had that dream again, she wouldn't hesitate in crushing Lapis' gem. Or maybe she's just angry and rash now. She doesn't know.

"Alright, yeah, I know but-,"

"Be silent. Jasper could detect us," Pearl hisses.

Lapis growls. Of all the times for Pearl to become uncooperative. Lapis isn't willing to deter the mission. If Pearl wants to get rid of her so bad, then Lapis is only more than eager to quicken to process. Lapis summons her wings, outstretching them behind her. The plains have hollowed out the wet marshes, and Lapis feels nothing but energy flowing through the thick ponds below her. It's nothing like the feeling of the entire wrath of the ocean beneath her, but it's impressive enough for her to feel brave.

Lapis snags Pearl again, roughly this time, and hefts her into the air. Pearl yells in protest, but Lapis shuts her up.

"_Ah ah_, Be quiet or Jasper will find us," Lapis snaps back in a smarmy tone. Pearl relents, locking her jaw in place.

They only have to fly for an hour or so before Lapis feels a power surge. Jasper is nearby. Her internal radar is going crazy, and she's sure that if the radio were on by now, it'd be dust.

"There she is," Pearl whispers.

"_Nahhh_," Lapis rolls her eyes, "you think?"

After another ten minutes of circling overhead, they finally get a visual of the orange warrior. She's walking at an almost leisurely pace, hanging on to a brightly colored cloth lump. It doesn't take a genius to surmise that the lump is Steven. Pearl gasps and holds out her arms, as if she can grab Steven and go from ten stories above.

Lapis isn't a fan of being clever, so she just decides to dive in there on the off chance that it will surprise the Homeworld gem. Pearl argues silently, shaking her head and using her projector to visualize a strategy. Lapis looses interest within the first two minutes, and spirals down like a ballista and she wonders if the twinge in her gut is anticipation or regret.

She pulls out of her nose dive just in time to make an entrance and swerves up. Landing is always the worst part, and Lapis already feels outmatched and overwhelmed.

Jasper whips her head in their direction, worried for maybe a second. Her nerves fade away as she gets a better view of her challengers. She grins like a fox and stares the two gems down with yellowed eyes. Steven is passed out in her arms, laying limp.

"Steven!" Pearl yells, her resolve to remain calm failing. Steven stirs, but doesn't awaken. Pearl's breath quickens, and she turns narrow eyes to Jasper. "You release him this instant!" She demands, summoning her gem.

Lapis can't help but follow suit, brandishing her wings.

"Looks like you two went on a duck hunt," Jasper chuckles darkly. "Do you really think you can match me?"

Pearl's confidence quavers. They're outnumbering Jasper indefinitely- but are they overpowering her? Pearl doubts it. The Crystal gem growls despite. She won't let Garnet be proved right.

"Let our weapons decide!" Pearl roars, not taking any time before taking her spear in hand and swinging it in a wide arc. Jasper ducks easily and hurls a fist forward with her free hand.

They go for a while, matching each other blow for blow. Pearl sends an energy blast back at Jasper, who deflects it without a hitch. Lapis can't see an opening where she won't hurt Pearl in the process. She'd like to tangle the marsh plants around Jasper's legs, but Pearl is too close for such a chance.

"Pearl!" Lapis shouts. "You gotta back off!"

"And let her off with my Steven?!"

"Please! Trust me!"

Pearl stares hard into Lapis' eyes. She frowns and after a solemn moment of thinking, agrees. She backs away, leaping just out of range of Jasper's battering ram. Lapis smirks. It's her turn now. She twists and moves the thick swamp water, manipulating it from inside the plants. Vines creep around Jasper's ankles and anchor her down. There's a frustrated growl that rips through the large gem's throat, but Lapis cuts it off.

"Release Steven," She commands.

"If I refuse?" Jasper laughs.

"I won't hesitate in taking this further," Lapis snarls. The idea of crushing a gem, a non-monster gem, haunts her. She knows she won't be able to do it. But Jasper can't sense her reluctance, she decides to see how long she can drag out her bluff.

It appears that she can't hold her facade for too long, because Jasper howls with laughter and then simply rips out of her bonds. "Hilarious. The little bird thinks that she's got leverage just because the battle field's a little wet." The large gem speeds forwards and takes Lapis by the throat. "How strong are you now?"

Lapis stares long and hard at Jasper, and then directs her eyes to Pearl. Their positions are switched now; Lapis is at Pearl's mercy. If the tall gem has any remaining. Pearl grits her teeth. She wants to leave Lapis to Jasper like Lapis did to her when they split malachite, but she knows that Steven would never allow it. She steels herself. She's better than Lapis was. She takes her spear and drives it into the Homeworld gem warrior's bicep, forcing Jasper to drop Lapis to the muddy ground. Jasper hangs tightly to Steven, but Pearl sees him starting to rouse.

Jasper wipes the spilled ichor from her arms and glares at Pearl. "You want to play now?"

"Gladly!"

They go at it again, sparing roughly. Pearl holds back, unwilling to accidentally strike Steven. She hangs to the base of her spear. It's balanced and loose in her palm. Pearl jabs at Jasper and misses. Fatal mistake. In the split second opening, Jasper is on Pearl, ripping at her body with her battering ram. Pearl flies back, catching herself in the dirt. Lapis, seeing the now desperate situation, fires a volly of water spikes at Jasper. They pierce her thick hide and leave her caterwauling in pain.

"Steven! Wake up! Wake up!" Lapis roars, trying to buy Pearl as much time as possible. The alabaster gem struggles to her feet.

Steven eventually rouses from his sleep, yawning before sensing the tension in the air. His brown eyes, brilliant like an undiscovered galaxy, shoot open and he yelps:

"L-Lapis! _Pearl!"_

"Hang on, Steven! We'll get you out of there!" Pearl snaps, staggering and striking Jasper with an energy beam.

"Help!" Steven yells as Jasper whips her body away from the beam and jostles him roughly.

"Yes, I believe that's what we've been trying to do for the last twelve hours," Lapis grumbles.

Jasper laughs. "I could destroy you," she threatens, shaking Steven around as she dodges another light beam. "But your fear is so laughable." Steven quivers.

Pearl jams her weapon forward in fury. "Let him go!" It sticks into Jasper's side. Ichor flows around the blade, staining it a cold silver color.

Jasper hisses and looks up, furious. Has it really only been twelve hours? Only so long ago, Pearl had been such a rash fighter. Reckless. A humiliation. Now she is collected and composed and almost dangerous. What had twelve hours done to her? Maybe it's the adrenaline. The need rushing through Pearl's veins to protect her child. Is it her child? Jasper decides not to dwell on the idea.

Jasper rips the spear from her side and glares at Pearl. She's not going to play anymore. Especially if there's a chance that she'll lose the game.

Jasper swings the spear forwards and poises it to stab. She lunges, building up momentum. So close. She can see thick flowing ichor on the twisted blade already. A blue flash flits across Jasper's peripheral vision. A scream tears out- animal and inhuman. There's a satisfying thunk as the blade hits a target, but when Jasper looks up in triumph, she sees Pearl has not been touched.

Pearl is frozen now. In front of her, Lapis cringes and falls to the ground beneath her, heaving. Pearl's spear has perfectly skewered her through the chest. The ocean gem chokes on her last breath, shaky hands tracing the blade that protrudes through her shirt.

"Lapis!" Pearl doesn't know if its her or Steven screaming.

Lapis poofs into her gem. A beautiful tear drop shaped stone that glimmers in the moonlight. Jasper stares at it like a predator, and suddenly, Pearl relives her dream. She gasps and her weapon shakes. Jasper's going to crush Lapis, her mind whimpers, Jasper's going to destroy Lapis! Pearl suddenly can't breathe. Fires surround her. All she can hear is the yell of her teammates ripping through the air, and the delicate breaking of each fallen gem, which sounds like ice on steel. She's choking on smoke. Drowning in battle cries. She can't do this. She _can't_. She's stuck. It's war.

"Pearl! Snap out of it!"

Steven is what jolts her to reality. It feels like Pearl has just lived one hundred years in half of a second. Whiplash. Steven is her rock now. As long as she sees that band around her arm, she knows that this is an isolated battle. Pearl refuses to make the same mistakes over and over again. She doesn't have her spear, but she tears into Jasper anyways, tackling her to the ground and harvesting her weapon from where Lapis once stood.

"You hurt my child," Pearl snarls, "you hurt my... comrade," Pearl almost says friend, but she feels that it would sound forced. "And you endanger my planet." Pearl whips her spear back in ready position.

"For that," she says poised over Jasper's body, spear hovering above the orange gem's throat. "I will _never_ forgive you."

There's a split second that Pearl hesitates. She can almost feel the heat of the fires in the cool night. She shakes out of it, slamming the weapon deep into Jasper's throat. The giant creature roars and chokes and froths at her drawn lips before her eyes go white and her voice soundless. She shivers and a spasmodic tremor goes through her body once more before she poofs into her gem. Pearl is thrown back. The Crystal gem almost lurches forwards to destroy the invasive gem once and for all. She is stopped only by a small young boy calling her name.

Steven rushes to hug her, sobbing. He shoves his face into her chest and whimpers. At first Pearl thinks he is glad to see her.

"Don't hurt her anymore," Steven whispers. "I'm here now. We're safe. Please stop. I'm here."

Pearl decides that Steven is right. She bubbles Jasper's gem instead to make sure that the rowdy gem won't pull any tricks reforming and then lays back against the cool grass. Steven looks so strong now, even over the course of a single night. His eyes are a tad sunken, and his jaw sharper. His regeneration was definitely rushed, seeing as he looks hardly strong enough to do more than hang on to Pearl's midriff. A new addition to his outfit, a bandana protecting where he was earlier crushed, is wrapped around his forehead. His shirt is ripped along the bottom, although Pearl surmises that the tear happened after is regeneration. He looks horribly pale.

"You did so well," Pearl says anyways, holding him, glad for the curly hair that she buries her nose into.

"You were so brave!" He says back.

Pearl smiles. She was brave, wasn't she?

They don't know how they're getting home. They worry for a moment until Pearl sees Steven's eyes light up and hears him yell in glee:

"Garnet!"

Garnet smiles and addresses him back, ruffling his hair and complimenting his headband. Garnet explains that she had trailed Pearl and Lapis after they departed, worried that they would be overpowered by Jasper. "But you exceeded all my expectations. I should trust you more," she adds, grinning. Pearl nods, feeling a lightness in her chest from the compliment.

Garnet hauls Steven up and sets him on her shoulders so that he can rest his head against her soft hair and sleep. She moves to snatch up Pearl, too, but the tall gem refuses. Garnet sighs.

"Pearl, please don't do this again."

Pearl shakes her head. "I'm not! I have to get Lapis. We can't simply leave her here..."

Pearl knows she said she never wanted to see Lapis again. She knows that she meant it, too. But they can't just leave her here after she saved Pearl's life. Who knows? Maybe under different circumstances, _they_ can be different. Maybe with time, they can learn how to love.

Pearl scoops Lapis' gem from the ground and cradles it. She allows Garnet to pick her up.

It's the second time she must be carried to the temple. But this time, she doesn't care in the slightest.

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**Kudos to everybody that reviewed, favorited, or followed. I would love to answer some questions next chapter considering it will be the last chance for me to respond to them in this story! If you have something to ask, just put it in a review!**


	10. Level

**Hello! **

**EpicFlight13: _"Is there a reason that you decided not to include Peridot in this story?"_**

**Actually, there isn't a big reason why I didn't include her. At the time I was writing up the story, though, I really didn't care for Peridot. I wasn't sure how I'd write her- and since this is a relatively short story, I decided just to keep her out. That's a pretty good question, though! I didn't even realize I was excluding Peri until you brought it up. **

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The sun washes over Beach City like a wave, touching the hot banks of sand and the neon lights of the arcade. Inside the Beach house, Pearl is finally content with resting up and allowing her wounds to properly heal. Steven is curled up across from her on the pullout couch. He yawns softly, smiling in content. Lapis Lazuli still hasn't regenerated yet, though it has only been a few hours. Pearl wonders if she is ready to apologize to the smaller gem. She wonders if Lapis is ready to accept an apology.

Steven sleeps soundly, changed out of his torn shirt. He still wears his headband. A reminder, Pearl figures, of his regeneration. Lapis' gem lays on a pillow in the sunlight, facing the cool ocean breeze. Steven refused to rest until Lapis was settled somewhere safe.

"I'm proud of you, Pearl," he had said, almost sheepishly as he settled down to sleep.

Pearl had told him the same.

He had laughed a little bit, "Well, I can't say that I've saved a Universe. Get it? Get it?"

And for the sake of her tired boy, Pearl had tilted her head back and laughed.

She wants to know what has happened, but she knows he is exhausted. Steven will be in a better shape to tell her when he wakes up. She worries about Peridot's whereabouts, and more importantly, Jasper's condition, but she will tackle those problems when she's ready. For once, she's satisfied with herself.

She sipped some tea that Amethyst had brewed for her from a neon yellow silly straw. The small gem had hugged her furiously when she got home. She wouldn't let go until Pearl had wrapped both of her long arms around Amethyst's body and assured her that she was okay. Pearl has rarely seen that side of Amethyst- and it revealed just how terrifying and absurd this entire ordeal was.

Amethyst and Garnet had left on another mission an hour ago, telling Pearl not to run off again. Pearl could tell they were joking, but underneath their mocking tone, she wondered if they were truly worried that she'd take off.

She hears the salty sea breeze rustle the thick tree branches behind the house. Pearl hadn't always liked the beach house- she had originally found it both intrusive and painfully casual (especially for the home of the saviors of the earth), but now as she looks through the huge windows overlooking the sea, she smiles and decides that it's home. It may take time, but she can wait for Lapis to find home in it too.

Pearl hears a familiar whir behind her and senses a surge of energy. She gently eases herself around to prevent straining her neck and watches as Lapis' gem begins to glow. Engulfed in energy and light, the stone rises into the air. Pearl envisions the ocean air growing tangible and surrounding the gem as it reforms.

Lapis takes shape- mannequin, structure, and then details. She stumbles a little as her feet touch the ground and looks confused. Of course she's confused, Pearl thinks as her stomach clenches, she had told Lapis that she never wanted to see her again.

Pearl examines Lapis. Her top reaches lower, covering the spot where she was injured. It looks more like a cloth shirt with strings tying it back rather than her previous swim top. Her skirt is shorter- less constricting, with slits up the sides. Pearl thinks she looks rather pretty. Less elegant, less timeless and regal. More casual and free.

Pearl says nothing for a moment. She stares at the young gem. Lapis looks just as reluctant, if not more so. Eventually, Pearl nods cordially.

"Welcome back," she says, and even she cringes at how fake her tone sounds.

"So now we're back at square one on terms of relationships?" Lapis asks, drawing her eyebrows in and clenching her jaw.

Pearl swallows. Her eyes look everywhere except for Lapis. "I think we were always on square one," she says.

Lapis sneers, "so does this mean we're just going to forget this night ever happened? I got stabbed for you." She snaps, venom dripping from her words like melted chocolate. Lapis' hands shake. She's afraid of being alone again. She's afraid that Pearl will make her find refuge within her own thoughts. She's afraid of mirrors.

"No. I-I mean thank you? No, wait," Pearl says, exasperated. "I...I know that last night happened, and I know that I said some nasty things, and you did some nastier things. I just don't want that to be how I think of you. I don't want to forget what happened. I want to start fresh."

Lapis cringes. She hasn't been kicked out yet. That's about the only plus she can think of.

Pearl smiles sadly, "I think we're both a little desperate, aren't we? You want intimacy because you've never had it, and I want intimacy because I have had it, and I miss how it feels. In the end, we're just making stupid decisions."

Lapis feels her chest seize. That kiss had been real. She knew it. She didn't care that it was only built upon ten hours. When she pressed her skin against Pearl's, she felt electricity. But how is she to explain that?

"So..."

"I don't know if I can love you, Lapis," Pearl snorted, smirking a bit, "goodness, I don't even know if I like you."

Lapis bites her tongue. She's glad she did.

"But I do know that I want to. You're not evil. You just keep making left turns. I want to like you, and I want to love you. I just... I don't know if I can."

Lapis exhales. "Same," she admits, and suddenly a weight is lifted from her chest. "Maybe you're right. I still don't care for the earth. Truthfully, I'm not sure if I ever will. But I suppose I can learn to at least appreciate it. Especially if he's here," Lapis nods over to Steven, who smiles in his sleep.

Pearl smiles. They're certainly not going uphill, but they're also not going down. They're finally on level ground. There's no ulterior task that forces them to need each other. There's just the crazy notion that with time, they might want to need each other. Pearl invites Lapis to sit down and they talk. About earth, and Homeworld, and about Steven.

Pearl notices Lapis' hand brush hers as they sit back on the couch and swap anecdotes. She goes to retract her hand, but she stops. Lapis stares at her with willful eyes. Let me have this, they tell her. Let me have this one moment.

Pearl almost refuses them the satisfaction. But she doesn't. Instead, she loses her train of thought and blushes the deepest shade of blue.

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**Thank you for reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following. I am very grateful for it!**


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